I really do understand how confused and frustrated you are. To be honest I find it frustrating too. These other practices are saying something about HOCD that is misleading and confusing. Let me try to put things a different way. It's the same thing as I've said before, but maybe I can say it a different way that will make more sense to you. I'll go in the direction of the cancer analogy you used... Imagine if someone came into an anxiety clinic because they were having chest pains. A lot of times, those chest pains would just be anxiety. But not all the time. Sometimes, they would indicate a real medical issue. By the same token, a lot of the times when someone comes in with HOCD, it's just anxiety, but other times there is a real feeling of attraction there. Just like with chest pain, you would have to help the person stop ruminating and feel less anxious, so they can see if they still have chest pain even when they aren't anxious. When other practices say that HOCD means someone isn't gay, it's like saying that anyone with chest pain is just anxious. A lot of the time it's true, but it's incorrect and misleading to say that it is always just anxiety. Someone with HOCD is constantly trying to figure out if the feelings they have are attraction or anxiety, like someone with chest pain trying to figure out if their chest pains are caused by their anxiety. They feel the desperate need to figure it out, but ruminating about it just makes them more confused. Does that analogy help you to understand? In terms of your asking for a link to a case of HOCD that was real, I don't have a specific link to send you unfortunately. I just know from my own and others' clinical experience, not from published articles. If I had something to send you I would. I'm sure if you google hard enough you'll find something, but it seems to be buried underneath all the articles from these other practices telling people they aren't gay. And by the way, it's important that here are articles telling people with HOCD that they might not be gay. Just like it's important that someone can google chest pain and find out it night be anxiety. It's just not okay to say that chest pain is always anxiety, and it's not okay to say that HOCD is always straight. I am so confused just found this article online from an OCD therapist responding to someone. I thought OCD therapist believe this means it’s not true from everything I have read

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.