I’m searching for a boyfriend. Which is an obsession of mine. I finally am supposed to meet a guy for coffee next weekend. I should be elated but I’m anxious. This is because I am in love with a celebrity. I’m afraid I’ll have to stop loving the celebrity and stop thinking about him if I have a boyfriend.

Thanks. Good luck to you too 😊. I’m afraid if I’m in a relationship and my boyfriend found out that I’m in love with a celebrity he’d be hurt and would have left me. I’m afraid I’d be keeping something from him and he’d leave me if knew. I know this is weird because I don’t even have a boyfriend yet but I want one.

@lonerjayv3 Thank you.

I’m “in love” with this celebrity ( really a fictional character but also the celebrity himself with his looks) and it’s like an addiction. I’m also afraid I won’t find a real life guy that would compare to him. I’m addicted to thinking about this celebrity before bed and I look up pictures and read fanfics.

@Anon7 It sounds like a bit more than a celebrity crush, especially if you are holding all potential partners to the standard of this fictional character. Nobody likes being held to these kinds of standards and it can suck to be thought of as less beautiful or worthwhile than someone who doesn’t exist by the person you love. If you really want a relationship, maybe you need to let go of this character a bit, especially as a source for your expectations of a partner. You’ll be happier if you love a person for themselves and not for their similarity to someone else.

@CaptainKierkegaard I understand what you’re saying. But iletting go gives me so much anxiety. If I let go it will have to be gradual. I also think if I gradually fall in love with a real person I’ll gradually fall out of love with the celebrity. I know you’re trying to help but this is confirming my fears.

@Anon7 I don’t mean to confirm your fears (or deny them). Just saying that you shouldn’t bring the expectations of your celebrity crush into a real relationship. It might not even be grounds for someone to break up with you. My focus is moreso that it’s a better way to love and treat your partner (as themselves, not as an aspiring doppelganger for this celebrity). I’m not even saying you’d have to give this celebrity crush up entirely (although I’m not fond of crushing on anyone else but my partner and I’m personally much happier for it). Just that they shouldn’t guide your expectations of what a partner should be. Unrealistic expectations of a partner coupled with OCD is not a fun combo for anyone. Your focus is too much on “will they break up with me?” and less so on “will we both be happy?” which is the more important question (but obviously not fully answerable until you really get to know each other). Anyway, I wish you best of luck in your romantic endeavors.

@CaptainKierkegaard I wish I could get better with my OCD before getting into a relationship. Yet I feel I must try to find a relationship as I’m already 31 1/2 years old and am running out of time.

@lonerjayv3 Ok thanks Is it the one with the close up of your face ?

@lonerjayv3 Ok I’ll send you a friend request

@lonerjayv3 Yes

@lonerjayv3 You didn’t get my friend request? I sent it again.

@lonerjayv3 Maybe I have the wrong person. What area do you live in?

@lonerjayv3 Oh ok. I see you. I sent you a friend request

@lonerjayv3 Did you get the fried request I sent? I’m the girl in the purple shirt who sent you a friend request.

@lonerjayv3 I’m sorry but I don’t want to say my name on here. I sent you a friend request and I just sent you a message with my first name and that I’m from NOCD

@lonerjayv3 Did you receive my message on Facebook?

@lonerjayv3 Sorry if this seems rude but: 1. each new comment is a new notification for me, 2. y’all are 13 years apart. if you still want to continue go ahead, but wasn’t sure if you were both aware, 3. you can just link your fb profile, 4. but also this is not the forum for this kind of thing in general.

Really?

@lonerjayv3 Do you want to talk?

@lonerjayv3 I don’t know how to give you my number without posting it on here