I’m searching for a boyfriend. Which is an obsession of mine. I finally am supposed to meet a guy for coffee next weekend. I should be elated but I’m anxious. This is because I am in love with a celebrity. I’m afraid I’ll have to stop loving the celebrity and stop thinking about him if I have a boyfriend.

My feelings are everywhere at the moment and i can’t think straight. I’ve recently started talking to a boy and I’ve met up with him twice. He’s a lovely guy and I think I do like him but idk if I’m attracted to him atm he’s not really my exact type and that’s what’s driving me crazy because what if I’m in denial about my “sexuality” and I’m lying to myself? And I’m panicking like mad because everything is going so fast that I can’t think straight. I’ve never really been in this situation before. He’s also being really kind to me and I know he likes me so his intentions are clear but that’s what’s scary, whenever he messages me now I feel overwhelmed 😭 If anyone has experienced this could you share your experience? Thank you.

So for context, I've just started seeing someone. He's really handsome, sweet and very respectful. He has ADHD, so he's quite literally all over the place; Impulsive behavior type things. Well, he's starting to get inconsistent with texting and when that's the only communication we use, it becomes a battle for me. He always says he's working, which to be fair, he is, but it didn't stop him in the beginning. Again, I know he has ADHD and no two days are alike, that being said, I notice even the slightest change in texts. It's quite literally a curse. So I over analyze EVERYTHING to point of anger and tears, then I obsess if he even still likes me, if he's slowly phasing me out or ghosting me. Then when he does message me, I feel some sense of relief, but I notice he's not the same as he was before. He's done this to me a couple times, so I'm getting used to it. He told me yesterday he couldn't come see me because he was fixing his car, which he was - he showed a picture and posted them online, too. He's a car enthusiast, so he's always doing crazy things like that. So I woke up with the knowledge that he was working on his car today, only to find out he went to the beach. It felt like a punch to the gut. I tried reasoning with myself that maybe he went with his parents or a friend and he still had to finish working on his car, but then the dark, obsessive thoughts started creeping in and I spent the entire day miserable and over analyzing all of our texts and constantly checking to see if he still follows me on Instagram. I didn't even realize my OCD was this bad. I really just thought it was perfectionism, and it still is, but I'm afraid it's about relationships, too, and I'm concerned that I'll be this way with every man I date, given I actually find one 😔

there is this guy in my university. i think he looks good. but since im so afraid of liking someone else, everytime i see him i have wild intrusive thoughts about him. everytime he looks at me i imagine the tension. i hate it so much i hate him so much. yesterday, i saw him look at me multiple times but i avoided the thought. after a while, the picture of him wanting me desperately came to mind again and i thought “what if he liked me and what if he came and told me that i want a relationship with you” and i imagined that. i instantly got pulled and felt like id wanna be with him. like really really wanna be with him. and simultaneously i was terrified of thinking that so in the back of my mind i was screaming NO NO DONT THINK THIS and it felt like i was falling off from a building. but i thought it again and i had the same feeling. I love my boyfriend to death, i feel like im betraying him. Am i? I realized after days of rumination, that I had no reason for my attraction. Its not like I had any kind of physical bodily attraction. I thought the face was nice. But I didn’t even know the person. Why would I feel such a strong urge to be with someone I don’t even know? I thought it was invalid, but I strongly think it is because I have projected a personality on him that I would want to be with. He held a meeting today. Hes my colleague in a club. I was in the meeting. For the first half hour, I was stressed because I hadn’t written down a thought I had previously had. I was doing my work simultaneously. I was talking to people simultaneously. When I paid attention to the guy, I thought “yeah see he’s just a normal person, plus he has an ugly voice” the minute I thought this, I turned into a fan girl of his fully and I loved the voice I felt like I had a crush. And then I panicked. I moved past it. After a while, while he was talking, a little girl screamed in the background. I immediately pictured his younger sister. Like I pictured him having a sister and she looked kindof yk like him. Basically my first instinct was oh she might be so cute. See I think he looks nice, so I kinda pictured him having a sister who was pretty and all cute like how he looked. And then I flipped out while at the same time getting a one second black out, after which I had flashes and images of him being a father and me being attracted to that. I just got random flashes of images and I felt attracted to that I think. Im not too sure. I don’t remember any feeling/ thought/ order at all. It kept on replaying in my head and while contemplating about it I thought it is probably cuz I don’t know anything about their personal lives so it feels enticing to know that they have a personal life beyond work(since they’re professional connections.). After this, I had a billion other thoughts of this sort. “why am I still thinking of him” “does this mean I like him” “who thinks that” *replaying the thought over and over* “maybe he likes me” all these situational thoughts. I can’t even ground myself by thinking about love for my bf. “I love him I want him so bad” “no you don’t” “he’s the best” “you don’t really think that” “how will u handle ur life other guys ur relationship ur hectic schedulel” “fuck up” “these thoughts r supposed to be normal” “its just attraction” “attraction for so long? Everytime u see him?” “youre gonna try to downplay the thoughts like u always do” “this is not normal” I just froze there crying till I couldn’t breathe for 45 minutes. Next morning, I woke up thinking its just something that is not important, I love my boyfriend so much I should put my energy here. I was then called in for a meeting. I pictured the guy just being in university and I felt like normal softness towards him, I got pulled. And then after a while I saw his fair through the online meeting I was worried ill think something wrong. Then I heard him talk to a girl and I was worried ill think im jealous and get jealous. Then after avoiding the thought for a while I got the thought, I felt like I was jealous. But at the same time I was so anxious because I didn’t wanna think like this. And after that I saw him again and I pictured me being with him there next to him in a flash and then I got anxiety and I’m here now.