Is ROCD where you don’t know if you should be with someone you think you love and have had so many good times together and laugh at so many things, while also thinking, what if I want to explore and there is someone better out there? Like what if I want to just be single and casually date but not be tied down? But this guy I’m talking about understands a lot about me but my issue with this ruins our friendship a lot…I have been suffering from this for a long time and it’s so hard.

I don't know. I just fucking went down a huge rabbit hole of this lady on ROCD Reddit who described something very similar to how I feel about my boyfriend. She was so scared to break up but wanted to anyway bc she wanted to explore and stuff. A lot of the stuff she wrote was things I swear I could have written myself. And I feel so anxious and sick bc she ended up leaving her boyfriend. She's not happy now but feels it's the right choice. I'm so fucking scared - bc I feel like I need to do it now. I feel in ways no ROCD sufferer has felt and I swear this is true. What the fuck??

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?