Guys I don’t know what to do. It feels so genuine almost that I don’t want to be with him. I feel like this is anticipatory anxiety. And then I had a thought that he’s going to break up with me and I felt really anxious. Idk

You guys aren’t going to break up. When you start worrying, say to yourself, “eh, maybe we will, maybe we won’t” and just treat it as something to worry about later. Your brain is searching for thoughts it feels are dangeous and trying to fight them off. It thinks that the thoughts are real, but in reality, the only thing that’s real is your anxiety about them. When you start to relax and not take them so seriously, they start to not feal real at all.

It keeps feeling like I know I want it though. Is that ocd or just me knowing.

@cozycat That’s absolutely ocd. What you’re describing I’ve seen on a million people who have ocd. It’s understandable that they’re worried about breaking up. But, there was never any danger of that in the first place and it’s only their ocd that’s making them feel bad. When you start to relax and accept uncertainty, I find your mind starts to become clearer and you don’t worry as much.

going through the same thing

It’s like I can’t even argue with it anymore. It feels so genuine and real like I just don’t want to be here. I don’t know it’s so weird. Like it feels like I’m going to do it

@cozycat i can’t explain how i feel either i just keep saying i feel so weird. but im definitely falling into compulsions more and it’s making me feel stuck also. i can’t tell if this feels more real then when i first started showing symptoms

@ anonymous I get that. Like it definitely does feel more real than when I first started I think. Like it feels inevitable almost

@cozycat it feels like that but it’s not

@ anonymous and we both have to remember that

@ anonymous I know. It just keeps feeling like I know I want it. Like it’s not ocd anymore and that I’m just forcing myself

@cozycat i have that exact feeling. but at the same time i do not want to do life without him. it’s so frustrating. like the other day i messed up and he got upset with me and my brain immediately was like he’s breaking up with you and i ugly sobbed for like 3 hours straight

@ anonymous It’s like I feel it in every bone of my body and I can’t fight it anymore. It’s so uncomfortable feeling. It’s like I don’t even believe myself when I say I love him or want to be here anymore. Is that normal

@cozycat yes i feel that too. like i’m lying to myself

@ anonymous Like I’m lying to myself and to him. But because I feel like I “know” it just mainly feels like I’m lying to him

@cozycat And it’s like I don’t want to be around him which makes me think it’s even more true. And like I’m just searching for ways out and all of that stuff. It feels so natural compared to other thoughts but others say that they feel that too but it doesn’t make it any better or give me any feelings of relief

@cozycat i think it’s just another one of ocds tricks tbh. we wouldn’t be thinking it’s actually if ocd didn’t make it feel actually real.

@ anonymous It’s like last night I was crying because I loved him and this morning I feel nothing

I feel the exact same way. It’s like I’m actually thinking these thoughts and it’s not the ROCD. I used to love every second and took every opportunity to be and spend time with my partner but it’s as if I want to but there’s something in my body that’s repelling them from me or won’t let me love them :( I know I love my partner so much and I want to be with them, I see a future with them but it feels as if I don’t even care anymore or I have thoughts about me hating or feeling repulsed by them. Do you guys experience this?

Yes except my mind keeps telling me that I don’t love my partner so it makes it hard for me to tell if I do or don’t

@cozycat Like it’s as if I just can’t tell anymore

@cozycat Yes my mind saids these things too, it’s really hard. Keep your head up and some days are going to be easier and harder then others. You just have to learn to sit with the uncertainty and accept the thoughts, don’t agree with them but let them be present and act is if you don’t care, say “maybe I don’t love my partner, great!” It sounds silly and fake but we have to rewire the brain to not see this as a threat and overtime the thoughts will slow down.