Anyone else find ERP incredibly difficult? My OCD does not want any part of it. I feel helpless because I keep giving into compulsions and a small part of me knows that the only way out is to stop compulsions. My OCD says otherwise, however. It has even gone so far to convince me that I actually cannot ever accept uncertainty and I find it so hard to not believe it. I know I will only ever find out if I stop compulsions but it is so damn hard and now OCD is getting in the way of my school work. One week I'm highly motivated and ready to fight, then the next week I'm so low and cannot stop ruminating. Then when I want to try again I know I'll just give in again. Much love for anyone suffering from this nonsense.

Hey today I’m feeling very tired because of my OCD I’m just so tired of it. I feel I’m doing everything to get better. I disregard the thoughts, I’m trying to do things like I don’t have ocd but it doesn’t want to go away. I was doing fine for a long period of time and now I feel like I’m back a square one. It’s been almost 2 months now I’m battling with OCD and I’m just tired. Sure I have moments where it’s better than others, I also have days where I barely have OCD but I also have really bad days like today where I just don’t want to get out of bed. Last time I had a relapse it took my 4 weeks to get out of it I don’t understand why this time it takes me more. I’m starting believing that I will never feel better again. Anyway I’m gonna try to find the strength to get out of bed and to start my day. But I just wanted to share. It’s such a horrible illness.

I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.