Oh god can someone talk???????

I’m freaking out i’m in class and there’s this masc edgy lesbian and i feel attracted to her—LIKE ACTUAL ATTRACTION and i feel NOTHING towards guys Im so scared rn—like i feel like if she kissed me i would kiss her and im so scared rn of what i’m feeling Is this ocd? Being scared of what your feeling?? That seems like denial to me

@hate_ocd.123 Unfortunately, I'm not sure since I'm not you. I used to feel the same way but I am completely straight and it was just my OCD at that time. Are you afraid of being bi/lesbian?

@EmmaFaFe Yes i’m freaking terrified I feel like i would do stuff with her and it scares me cause i dont want to:(

@hate_ocd.123 If you are terrified of it...its probably just OCD! Its okay!

@hate_ocd.123 Ive felt that way too, Im sorry! It sucks alot

@EmmaFaFe No its different im so scared why do i feel like i would do it!! Like my heart is racing

@hate_ocd.123 Calm down, its okay. Just breathe if you're starting to panic and start counting, focus on your senses, or something to help you calm down. Everything's okay and I promise you that.

@EmmaFaFe Im just so scared im gay it scares me so much rn more than normal

@Sad mom 😢 Yes at times I do (a lot actually, like when i imagine the scenario i feel like i’d give in) and I don’t want to feel like that

@EmmaFaFe I feel like i never felt this way towards another girl and its freaking me out im so scared—like i’ve never felt this paralyzing fear and “desire” or whatever the fuck it is that scares me so fucking much

@EmmaFaFe And like the “attraction” i feel is like impulsive and fiery—which i know attraction isn’t suppose to feel like or feel this complicated, but im so scared it’s like that “burning passion” attraction:(

@hate_ocd.123 I get that too!

@EmmaFaFe It’s like my hands and body have a mind of its own, and my own mind is working against me! That’s what the “attraction” feels like and how i feel when i think about scenarios with this masc lesbian:( I feel like my body is one fire and my hands are gonna reach out and im gonna act on it — are these the urge parts of ocd?? Like i don’t want it and i’m paralyzed with fear, but my mind is saying i do and i feel like my body does but i dont and my heartbis racing again and im so scard

@Imaan7 Which part?

@EmmaFaFe the thought of being happy and gay and enjoying my life as a gay person makes me cry, so scared, and sad😞

@hate_ocd.123 That burning attraction part and it actually feels like I might just act on it :(

@Imaan7 Do you have an insta?

@hate_ocd.123 I only have snap

@Imaan7 Ohh okay

What just triggers me with this girl is—i first initially wasn’t attracted to her cause in person she’s a lot more fem. Then we all zoomed and she was like dressed like a guy, and all of us girls talked & got along and im so scared im attracted to her personality & looks—cause masc lesbians with tattoos rlly trigger me And i definitely think its fear—very strong fear

Even reading “you’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do?” What if i just think i don’t want to do it, but actually do? Like what if one day i give and like it? I’m so scared that’s gonna happen. And even now i didn’t get anxiety saying that (the “Like what if one day i give and like it”) but i do with the other statement, and i freak out at that. Like its almost like i’m scared cause i do want it, but i dont want to feel that way…. But i also know if i truly wanted it i wouldn’t be scared….correct!

Ik i sound so much like im in denial 😞

@hate_ocd.123 You dont lol, ik thats reassurance but your posts make me feel like Im in denial

@hate_ocd.123 No you don’t sound like you’re in denial you sound confused, questioning, scared, terrified. Let me ask you this- is your family homophobic? Do you have homophobic friends? Anything happen that made you feel like being gay would make you be unsafe? That’s where my fears stemmed from

@Anon1294 Nope, nope and nope Actually the complete opposite Both my best friends are lgbt, my little brother is openly gay, and i was raised around gay people since i was six. Knew what it was since i was 6. Didn’t even think about it until hocd hit when i was 12 (went away for a couple years but came back at 15, and at 12 i’d just got over like a five year theme of the world ending). Up until then, never had a sexual or romantic thought of a girl (at least from what i can remember or so i think) and only ever had crushes on guys (scared it was comphet). But unlike a lot of lgbtq people, i knew what being gay was from a very young age and come from a super duper accepting family. So yeah, makes no sense 🤷🏼‍♀️

@hate_ocd.123 I didnt know what being gay meant or how sexuality worked until hocd and I think thats probably my case :(

@hate_ocd.123 Okay but what DOES make sense is that you have other themes that you obsess about. And that you didn’t even think about being gay for years. I had the same happen to me. I had years and years I didn’t even think about that intrusive thought but it came back unfortunately. My thing is… I can easily talk myself out of my other obsessions. I might die in my sleep? Unlikely. My mom might abandon me? Nah she loves me too much. My boyfriends cheating? I had literally no evidence of that. So I was able to talk myself out of those obsessions. The homosexual ocd isn’t so easy to talk myself out of because it’s actually a possibility and it’s reality for so many people. That’s why it’s so easy to get stuck on