Everyone always says butterflies in stomach and like stomach churning means you’re attracted to someone, and that triggers me so much cause that’s my reaction to girls specifically this one masc lesbian in my class And idk i think i’ve gotten that feeling with boys before i can’t remember—it was just i was attracted to them and never over analyzed it. Like with my ex, i never felt butterflies but it just felt right being with him. He felt like home. Like when he would hug me, there was no anxiety. I’m never sure about anything, and he was the one thing I was sure of. Like i’m just so lost what is attraction suppose to feel like

Oh yeah im fucking terrified to be attracted to this one girl What really triggers me is that at first i wasn’t initially “attracted” to her cause in person she’s a lot more fem. Then we all zoomed (group project) and she was dressed like a guy, and all of us girls talked & got along and im so scared im attracted to her personality & looks — cause masc lesbians w/ tattoos really trigger me And atop that my head is telling me i was jealous of this girl talking to her, cause today in class we split into two seperate groups w/in our large group and her and this other straight girl were talking and i thought “man i wish i could be like that straight girl and talk to her (the masc lesbian) without anxiety” Now my head is telling me i was jealous, and wanted to talk to the masc lesbian because i like her And It all triggers me so fucking much And i feel like i’ve never felt this way towards a girl and saying that makes me wanna cry And literally within typing this i hit myself cause i couldn’t handle it

@hate_ocd.123 You’re okay. You’re truly just having deep deep fears. What helped me was allowing myself to accept that there is a natural thing within us that is drawn to something or someone when it looks cute. It doesn’t mean you want to date them. It doesn’t mean you’re attracted and want to act upon these thoughts. If the idea of it makes your physically ill then you should consider that the idea repulses you instead of intrigues you.

@Anon1294 Idk if it makes me physically ill….it makes me cry and freaks me out and i get so scared

@Anon1294 It just gives me a lot of anxiety ik that

@Anon1294 So it’s okay to think a masculine women is attractive??

@Tan??? Of course it is. First of all, if you find yourself to be straight, masculine women sometimes look like men so much that they are appealing to you. Also, I have seen many straight women say openly that they enjoy watching lez porn! The more you accept sexuality doesn’t look the same for every person, the less scary the thoughts are .

@Anon1294 For me when I see masc lesbian I look for their breasts because I know I’m not attracted to their bodies it’s just their masculine features do you worry you are attracted to masc women ?

@Tan??? I used to a lot. But I actually started saying I’m bi. I don’t want that to scare you though. I’m not sure if I’m actually bi. But I do know that when I “accepted” my sexuality as possibly being bi, the intrusive thoughts stopped

@Tan??? The key to stopping intrusive thoughts is eliminating the route of your fear. So right now you’re fear is being gay. Tell yourself maybe I am maybe I’m not, and I don’t have to figure that out right this minute. And then expose yourself to masculine women’s pictures until they don’t scare you

@Anon1294 You like those thoughts of being with a woman?

@Tan??? Nope I actually don’t think about sleeping with women at all. I just think they’re beautiful but I wouldn’t want to be with a woman. I used to be petrified of women. I would literally stay away from them altogether because I was afraid of getting attracted. Now I’m perfectly fine because I forced myself to be around women, to talk to them, I look at pictures of them while shopping, and I feel nothing except for thinking “wow she has a nice body” but I don’t have intrusive thoughts or anxiety anymore

Im just so scared im a lesbian

@hate_ocd.123 Me too. The thought that I like girls scares me

@Mak46 Im scared it doesnt scare me:(

@Mak46 Like it does scare me But i’m scared that it doesn’t actually scare me and i’m just saying im scared cause i dont want it :(

@hate_ocd.123 Yeah I get that. I worry that how I feel will never go away. This is just who I am stuck as.

@Mak46 Im crying at the thought of having to come out and being happy and gay and a lesbian 😭 It’s like everything is starting to point more towards denial—i dont want this Im so scared i’ll one day have sex with a girl in the future and enjoy it I’m so sad that i feel like i enjoy sex with a girl It feels like “surface me” is straight but deep down i know i’m gay and i HATE IT this doesn’t feel like ocd anymore how can i get this too stop

@Mak46 Do you feel like this too? Do you have an insta??

@Mak46 Are you there?

@hate_ocd.123 Sorry yeah I am here and I do have an Insta

@Mak46 makenna_b21

@hate_ocd.123 Do you still fear attraction to masc lesbians