Having a bad day today. Started ERP Monday. My anxiety has gone down whilst doing them but today I woke up with the compulsions going at full force. Going over conversations ober and over...listening to ERP and a voice saying no people dont think bad of you because it has been 2 years since you told them your thoughts..... I HATE this episode. I just wish I could realise that the two older people who I told my intrusive thoughts to about their grandaughter 2 years ago KNOW for sure it was OCD thoughts and nothing else. My mind is telling me all sorts.....I have never worried about what they thought for 2 years but now I do because they have fallen out with me over covid. I am listening to a loop tape which says 'do they think my OCD thoughts were real' and then another one that they think I am a 'p'. I feel like giving up. Please if anyone else has had this type of OCD thought of what people think of you PLEASE could you tell me how you got over it? I am just sooooo anxious today. Is this because I have been doing ERP all week? I cant do this anymore. I wanted a peer support but still havent got one...... i dont know how much more of this i can take, honestly xx

I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.

Hi, last year I had a trigger with my little cousin that made me spiral. Then that thought lead to another and lead to another thought and another one and so on and I've been feeling stuck (with ups and downs) over a year now. I hit rock bottom in July/August and that lead me to going to the psychiatrist. I am taking meds now, but I still feel bad. It doesn't take as much time of my life anymore but it is constantly back there in my mind. It's the feeling that I'm ignoring and undoubtable truth that soonest or later will come out, or that rejecting, or that I'm resisting. That's why it's been impossible for me to do ERP, because I think it's going to make me want to touch myself and if I do I'll feel bad. And then it feels like I like the thoughts, not only physically (groinals) but mentally??? It's like a brain fog that I can't tag between pleasure or confusion. And that thought leads me to thinking about the alleged "non-offending" ps and if that could be me. And that thought leads me to think OH MY GOD I can't BELIEVE I am a girl in my twenties obsessing over this I can't believe this is my life.

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help