Having a bad day today. Started ERP Monday. My anxiety has gone down whilst doing them but today I woke up with the compulsions going at full force. Going over conversations ober and over...listening to ERP and a voice saying no people dont think bad of you because it has been 2 years since you told them your thoughts..... I HATE this episode. I just wish I could realise that the two older people who I told my intrusive thoughts to about their grandaughter 2 years ago KNOW for sure it was OCD thoughts and nothing else. My mind is telling me all sorts.....I have never worried about what they thought for 2 years but now I do because they have fallen out with me over covid. I am listening to a loop tape which says 'do they think my OCD thoughts were real' and then another one that they think I am a 'p'. I feel like giving up. Please if anyone else has had this type of OCD thought of what people think of you PLEASE could you tell me how you got over it? I am just sooooo anxious today. Is this because I have been doing ERP all week? I cant do this anymore. I wanted a peer support but still havent got one...... i dont know how much more of this i can take, honestly xx

Thank you so much. I just went out on my bike for a while. Thing is they were the most supportive friends I had when i had my OCD. My thought which was ridiculous was about sharing a bed with their grandaughter years before....it came out of the blue like yours did.....my OCD said to me...what if, when you were asleep, you put your leg on her or your front bit as I dont wear drawers in bed like most people! Their reply was that they worried like that when they had their friends little girl to stay! I told them ocd was called the doubting disorder and was ego dystonic and was all about what ifs. The lady even lookes it up and called me and didnt realise how much sufferjng i had been going through! So WHY oh WHY does this blasted OCD latch onto this thought now? If i ever mentioned OCD to them the lady always said oh not that crap!! I just cant work out why i am so anxious about this now. I have never worried like this before about them at all...never even entered my head until now. The thoughts just wont stop. I am going to so some more erp tonight. It has given me 5 minutes of clarity sometimes so i suppose it is working. I am just so scared on my own with these thoughts. Thank you so much for your reply. All my other friends know about this and couldnt care less. I think it bothers me cos it was about their grandaughter thats all. I have had much worse thoughts in the past about my own son when he was growing up but they have gone. It is just this thought that is so upsetting me. Thank you for your reply. I just need some support at the moment. I was hoping for peer support hut havent got it! Xx

@lou47 It’s hard to find support for such a complex thing. I know exactly what you mean your brain latches to one thing and doesn’t let it go even when it’s far from rational. Going outside and getting fresh air has always been the best medicine for me so the bike ride was a good idea. I hope you start to feel peace again❤️

@Anon1294 Thank you so much for your reply. It is so very hard. I do realise that this will go again. A few weeks before this episode i wondered what i could possibly get OCD from ever again...then THIS!!!! I think it is because I dont see them anymore that these thoughts have gone crazy! It is so irrational. I am sure i will get there. Last week i felt good for about 3 days which i suppose is a good sign. I will keep going out as much as I can. Thank you from the bottom of my heart xx