- Date posted
- 3y ago
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m not gunna reassure you and say yes this is ocd. But what I will tell you is that ocd will try anything to trick you into thinking that you found “your truth”. I also am going through rocd and sometimes it feels like that. But you have to hold onto that little hope. That you do love him. Hold onto that. Just know that you are not alone and we are here for you. I suggest looking up Awaken into love on YouTube, she has a lot of good content and she also went through rocd. Just try not to use her videos as reassurance or as a complusion. I know right now it seems like everything is different but you just have to accept that’s how things are right now. Keep doing erp and I promise things will get better.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That’s your ocd talking. Don’t listen to it. Do the opposite of what it tells you
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Are you positive. It feels so genuine. Like I don’t feel anxious or anything
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@cozycat I don’t want to reassure you but from other posts iv read it does seem that you love him. Or else you wouldn’t be having such a hard time. As an exposure, write a break up letter. I can’t tell you what to do, you just have to trust yourself. And I know it’s hard with ocd cause you can’t trust anything. Ask yourself, if you didn’t have ocd would you be having urges of breaking up with him?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Try to be kind to yourself @cozycat I know it can feel impossible. Try and go for a walk grab a coffee, don’t sit init both literally & mentally. I’ve just taken myself out, 1. To pick up my prescription, but I’ve stopped in a cafe I love & got a coffee and very late lunch/ early dinner (I’m in the UK) maybe reach out to your therapist on Monday morning. Slow steps, I’ve just spoken to my GP and been prescribed something to hopefully help with the thoughts & anxiety. With my new job I’ll be signing up to therapy privately. It will get better because your taking the right steps 💖💖
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you! It just feels so real it’s crazy
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s like I feel happy about it. And it was like “partners name we have to break up” and that made me think it felt good.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You are not alone! :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s like I want it though. And like I’d feel so much better
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much for this because it’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past 3 days. It’s awlful, yesterday I spent the whole day in bed just feeling broken. But knowing there are other people in the world experiencing this & recovering makes me feel hopeful.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It feels like I don’t even like him any more. It’s insane. I used to be so anxious and now it just feels as though I feel this way
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
i couldn't take this anymore. maybe i'll just let ocd win this time. it's too hard to not have a clear conscience everytime i'm with my bf cuz my mind is telling me i'm unfaithful and don't deserve to be happy. i feel like i'll never get better anymore. i already told myself many times to stop attracting attention from other people especially to people i'm having false attraction to. but i did it again yesterday, right after i smiled a little extra in front of that girl i might be attracted to i could feel the massive anxiety in my chest. already decided last week that i might be actually attracted to her so it's best to fully avoid her. i avoided her with the best i could, but we're in the same classroom and i saw her in my peripheral vision looking at us (my bf and i) whispered to myself not to make any mistake i'll regret, but then i felt like i lose control and laugh a little extra. i searched micro cheating and it says there "trying to impress someone you're attracted to" and now i want to break up with my bf. the guilt is too strong. i couldn't sleep at night.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w ago
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
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