- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
As you well know, I’m not really the intrusive-thoughts sort either… so encountering them more than (cough) “normal” people is a red flag for me personally that there’s something acute going on… mainly failed rounds of occasionally testing new meds (looking at you, Ritalin and Prozac). But one of the main things I’ve learned about myself is that as a person who spent years boxing with C-PTSD (a flavor that didn’t exist with my first dx), I still have biochemical knock-on effects even though I’ve therapied the psych/behavioral aspects into the ground. Basically, my body was conditioned to constantly be pumping out like 5x most people’s cortisol levels, until I burned my adrenals out entirely in my early 30s. Even after I recovered enough to do shit like… I dunno, get out of bed on my own and not pass out everywhere, losing hypervigilance (bc not producing enough cortisol to “deploy passive radar”) felt like going blind. That was partly what propelled me back into therapy, because I was genuinely adapting to losing one of my senses. All this to say that even though I’ve spent the time since then working on rewiring my brain to be unusually chill, when my adrenals began to really recover over the past few years I’m also discovering that my latent cortisol-brain likes to… manufacture(?) stress to trick myself into amping up my cortisol levels. (Agreed, sneaky mofo 😒) Also, thank you for posting this because I think I had some other epiphanies while I was writing all this down 🤔
- Date posted
- 4y
Ugh, punishment for a compulsive re-read... I made myself feel old 😁 "You kids... back in *my* day we didn't even have all these fancy different kinds of PTSD. You'd get the same one as everyone else, and just deal with it!" 😅😂🤣
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I am FINALLY starting to (somewhat) recover from this last existential spiral, which admittedly, was probably the cruelest my OCD has ever been to me. Only thanks to you all. You were all able to provide me with kindness, understanding and support… without the kind of reassurance that feeds OCD, of course. When I downloaded this app, I was genuinely terrified. I was so scared that I was permanently doomed to the endless whirlpool that is the thoughts produced by my own brain and that life as I knew it was over, that I would never be happy again. For anyone who might be feeling that way right now, your OCD is LYING to you! Whatever you may be going through, it CAN get better. As hard as it may be right now, HAVE FAITH! Get up and do that thing you want to do in spite of the fear and discomfort. Take the fear with you like a whiny, unwilling toddler and do it anyway. Watch the movie, read the book, order that takeout you’ve been craving, bake the cake, wash the dishes… Please do it anyway! It will be hard at first, I won’t lie. But the OCD part of your brain, like a toxic partner, WANTS to win. It wants you to give up on those things that you love, all those things that make you happy so that there’s no space for anything but itself. Don’t let it win. The more you push yourself, the more you rewire your brain to realize that as much as it may feel like, the obsession doesn’t matter! Thanks to you all, even without therapy (YET - I’m starting that journey on Tuesday because there’s still a lot to unpack, and I know that OCD won’t just magically go away), I was able to get a basic understanding of ERP and learning to sit with discomfort and how to live life in spite of it, rather than letting it take over my very being. So for that, I thank this community. I think I would be in a very different place right now if it weren’t for the people I’ve met here who truly understood my experiences. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please don’t give up. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your brain is telling you ❤️
- OCD newbies
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Magical Thinking OCD
- Existential OCD
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w
To my dear OCD friends, I just want to take a moment to say how grateful I am to know each of you. Your courage, honesty, and support have meant more to me than you know. In the trenches of this struggle, it’s easy to feel alone, but then you all show up (raw, real, and brave) and remind me what strength truly looks like. Some days the emotions hit like a wave, or like a distressed baby crying out for comfort. And instead of pushing that pain away, we’ve learned to sit with it. To cradle it. To breathe with it. To say, “You’re allowed to be here, and I won’t run.” That is powerful. That is healing. Exposures are not just tools, they’re acts of defiance. Each time we step toward our core fears instead of away from them, we’re not just surviving… we’re becoming ocdemonslayers. We’re refusing to let a false alarm dictate our worth or our reality. That’s no small thing. Please remember: nothing in this life is worth ending it early. The storm feels so loud sometimes, but storms do pass. Life has seasons, and the darkest ones are often followed by the most beautiful dawns. Hold on. You are not your thoughts. You are not alone. God is good through it all; in the fear, in the doubt, in the healing, in the stillness. Even when we can’t feel it, His grace holds us steady. He sees the battle and walks it with us. I’m truly happy to know all of you. Thank you for being part of this fight with me. With love, Salad #ocdemonslayers
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
Good morning to my fellow community members ☕️ I hope everyone reading this is having an enjoyable summer to the best of their abilities 🌞 After responding to a post of mine from three years ago that someone just commented on; I wanted to take the time to put myself out there and share a brief update on where I’m at in both my recovery and remission status. Overall, I’m in a night and day different place with my OCD from three years ago and I’m thankful, grateful and blessed for that 🙏 Many factors have come into play in order for me to be where I’m at today and able to write this very post 💯 However, I have been met with trials and tribulations along the way and it’s been a very challenging process, but I’ve done my best along the way to take each year on with both stride and grace ☮️ And so, I wanted to speak on as of very recently; not going over my entire journey over the past few years. Hence, the title of this post being “Harm OCD Spike” and it’s exactly that. For me, it’s minimal, but it might be major for someone else who is experiencing Harm OCD and so I wanted to share it with you all and let everyone know that no matter where we’re at in our OCD journeys; unfortunately, it’s never going to be 100% perfect because as we all know; nothing in life is ever 100% perfect and that’s just the reality and that’s entirely okay ✅ It’s a tough pill to swallow in general, but especially for someone like me who has been challenged by the subtype of Perfectionism since my teenage years as well. And so, yes; as of late I have noticed a very-slight increase of random Harm OCD thoughts. Very similar and very comparable to others from throughout my past dealing with Harm OCD. That said, I’m aware of them; I don’t at all like the fact that they’ve sporadically presented themselves, but I’m not at all going to beat myself up about them the way I once did and let’s use “Three years ago” for example (referencing the intro to this post) and that in it and of itself is a win 💪 I’ve acknowledged these few random thoughts that have presented themselves based upon now known triggers. And as we all know; anyone, anything, anytime and at any place can trigger us and that also entirely okay because OCD is not specific when it comes to subtypes nor triggers 📢 No one nor anything is off limits when it comes to OCD and as unfortunate as that may be; it’s the factual reality that we all have to acknowledge, accept and embrace 📶 And again, entirely okay 👍 In conclusion, regardless of your random harm thought, the anxiety that comes to follow, the rumination after that, the want to perform compulsions; whether they’re mental and/or physical that we all experience and/or the assurance seeking that we all feel that we both want and need both in that moment and sometimes even after the fact; the fact of the matter is that no matter where we’re at in our journeys, this is ultimately what happens when having to live with this mental disorder/illness and that’s also entirely okay 🫶 I wish, hope and pray each and every single day since formally being diagnosed years ago that one day a 100% cure will be either discovered or made for us, but until if/when that day comes and God willing it does; we all have each other and our entire community with resources like the life changing/saving NOCD, etc. And THAT’S, what needs to be highlighted and focused in on 💛 Not the overall amount of time that OCD either attempts and/or does steal from us 💔 Why? Because we’re stronger than that! We deserve better than that! And we will continue to fight ourselves and our lives because we all owe it to, ourselves 💗 Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌
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