Could this be a real event OCD? I apologise in advance if some part of this post are not comprehensible, english is not my first language. I'm also sorry for dragging too much on the argument, feel free to skip this Almost a month passed and I'm still stressed and anxious about what happened, it definitely has got better but until a week ago I woke up every morning feeling guilty about something I didn't do, it felt like if something was eating me from the inside. I feel like I'm not allowed to be happy, I can't fully enjoy hanging out with my friends anymore without feeling unpure or scared of the fact that one day they will turn their back on me believing the horrible rumors that live in my head, treating me like if I were some kind of a monster and saying things like "I always thought he was weird". I think worst fear has to be people misunderstanding me, believing in rumors and pointing their finger to me when something bad happens (something that happened a lot in the past) I used to chat in a telegram group with strangers, who were very edgy and joked about anything, even the most fucked up things, I was in the group because at that time I was alone and I didn't have many friends, it was a sort of escapism. As time passed I stopped chatting as often as I used to, almost to the point that I'd open the app only once every month. I deleted my account a lot of times, but I'd always come back out of boredom. Now I'm 15 and I've found a group of good friends that I don't want to lose, so I started hanging out more with them and basically stopped chatting on telegram. I'd check the messages once in a while to see what they were up to, because some of them were genuinely good people. During the summer people in the group chat talked about the new EU Policy called "Chat Control" (you can check it on google, only saying the word triggers my pocd) and some of them started joking about them having **** material, I was grossed out but initially I didn't think too much, I was sure they were joking (the average age of the group was 16, but I know that doesn't mean anything), but it was too much for me. I was afraid that one day someone would leak the chats online and that I'd get cancelled or accused of being something I'm not, and that my friends would leave my side and jump on the rumors because it's always easier that way. (It's the way cancel culture works, guilty until innocent) So I told them that I was quitting telegram because I didn't want to be associated with them anymore and so I did. I also asked some close friends to delete messages containing my real name for the same reason. I also wasn't that type of person anymore, I wanted to surround myself with a healthy enviroment and start being a better and kinder person. I thought that this was also an opportunity to finally close this bad chapter of my life and move on with life. Watching Dr K. on twitch (he's a psychiatrist who streams) also helped me a lot to grow as a person, at that time I suffered a lot from low self esteem, insicurities and bad communication skills, so he helped me prioritize mental health. My dream job is becoming a psychiatrist. Everything was going quite well until that night where I made the mistake to create a new telegram account, out of curiosity and boredom. When I came back a dude in the group chat that misunderstood the reason I had left was convinced that it was was because I had child ****, it triggered me and my pocd kicked in and I started panicking. My worst fear was happening right in that moment. I tried to say that it wasn't true but I don't think I did a very good job explaing myself, as I said before I suck at communicating. After lingering on what to do I made up an excuse to leave and deleted my account. But I think that made things worse, it definitely looked more suspicious. That day the whole world fell on top of me, it felt like everything was over for me. The anxiety and fear of being accused of being a **** was too much for me, until that day I was dealing pretty well with pocd, trying not to think about it. I had thoughts like "what if they start believing what he said? What if they report me to the police? What if my friends find out?" I cried myself to sleep. I didn't eat and speak much for two days, I constantly replayed the conversation that took place that day in my head over and over again, trying to fix my answer, wanting to clear the misunderstanding. I couldn't live with someone thinking that I was a ****. Then I finally vented to my mother, who was surprisingly understandive and willing to listen without judging me. She made me understand thar it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't feel guilty. That helped me very much, but that still was reassurance right? In fact OCD found other ways to fuck me over, making doubt about other things. Every morning I woke up feeling like a mongers, I went to school feeling like a monster and went to sleep feeling like a monster. There were days where I was "okay" but then OCD would suddenly appear to ruin my day so I'd just go straight inside the bed sheets feeling like shit until it was somehow bereable. It's not that frequent tho, this past week there were more days where I felt "normal" (it was more bereable, but the guilt was always there) than days where I felt like a monster, thanks to the support of my mum and the community on NOCD. But I still don't know when OCD is going to strike me down, stronger than before. The only positive thing that came out of this situation is my stronger relationship with my mother. I should always be thankful to her, but I don't show it enough. I have to hang on til 21 October, that will be my first appointment with a neuropsychiatrist, I want to get help. I think I swayed a lot from my initial question, but do you think that this a Real Event OCD mixed with POCD?