- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi, Mandy7710- First of all, you have my condilances. More to your question though. It’s a really tough one to answer (probably why it’s so scary) but one of the pieces of advice that helped me when I was really struggling with relationship ocd was given by a counselor. They told me to think about “acts of love” that I did for my then girlfriend (now wife of 6 years). Clinically, I dont know if it’s solid advice. I’m not a counselor, but it helped me get through. Maybe it will be of benefit to you too
- Date posted
- 3y
Thinking of my future is what triggers my ROCD
- Date posted
- 3y
At first it use to feel like ROCD now it doesn’t…..I hardly get thoughts… but when I think about leaving there is something in me that doesn’t wanna leave…. I even told him recently I wanna get married it felt genuine. I thought he wanted to break up with me. I started crying a little bit. ROCD I am even thinking I dont have that….
- Date posted
- 3y
I still show acts of love even though I don’t feel any…
- Date posted
- 3y
It gets worse when my partner gets negative. He has mental problems too… so it can be hard sometimes. We kinda got in an argument and I didn’t talk to him for an hour when I fell asleep he crulled up next to me saying sorry to me Bc he knows he upsetted me.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve been worried about our financial future and it causes me to panic badly. He has very bad social anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t wanna leave but I don’t know how much more I can take… my relationship use to be so happy until that conversation he had with me over a year ago. Ever since then things went downhill from there and My relationship hasn’t felt normal since….
- Date posted
- 3y
I am just so stressed out I really wanna scream! It not just him it’s everything around me…. My car making weird sounds that causes my ocd to spike more. Having people rely on me too much for rides or doing things for them. My cat using the floor as the litter box. I just can’t take much more of this…. I can’t do it!! I am still depressed and get pissed off at every little thing. I haven’t been happy for over a year! I just can’t do it! And on top of that we have until January to move out of our roommates house… but he wants to move out in December while working at a crappy job!!!? I told him he needs a better job too in order to move out in December. The more stress that piles on the more I am breaking down and getting angry at everyone and everything around me… I just wanna bash my head against the wall!! I have more money going out than in and while he does help pay for things my ocd causes me to obsess thinking I’m not doing enough!
- Date posted
- 3y
Leaving sounds easier but I don’t wanna leave. I know for over the past year we’ve both have been extremely stressed and that’s why things have been difficultz
- Date posted
- 3y
I just want my relationship back to normal again….
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve been with him for 11 years now… I want to be in love with him and I know that being in love is just a feeling… I just don’t know what to do anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry I am just really scared about all this…. I just feel like I wanna give up on everything. What’s scary is whenever he touches me I hear a voice saying don’t touch or you don’t want to do that with him. It’s really breaking my heart… I know there is issues but how can we work on them when our mental states are crap
- Date posted
- 3y
You don’t need to apologize to me, although I think the fact that you feel the need to probably speaks to your character. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now which from what I’ve read (and personal expeience). Tends to exacterbste OCD symptoms. That probably doesn’t make the feeling go away but it might explain why it’s so hard right now.
- Date posted
- 3y
One of the things that helps me (prep for a cliche) is meditation. I know that gets thrown around a lot as a vague platitude. It really has helped me cope with my OCD though. Especially when I have a lot of other stressors in my life that I can’t control.
- Date posted
- 3y
Is your partner aware of your ROCD?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah he is aware. He’s been patient with it for over a year. I need medication for my depression more than my anxiety. I’ve been overly depressed for over a year now and it’s becoming too much to deal with now.
- Date posted
- 3y
He needs help too. He needs therapy mainly to help him get a hold of his anger and social anxiety.
- Date posted
- 3y
My wife and I have struggled lately and even considered couple counseling. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a productive discussion when all parties involved are so emotionally invested in the situation.
- Date posted
- 3y
I might need to consider that b/c sometimes it can get difficult to say what’s on my mind. I did just tell him on the phone (working at the moment) that he needs to find a new job that pays more in order for us to even move out that we can’t just survive on my check since I get the higher pay. But his job doesn’t give him a set schedule and he get lower pay. He’s really comfortable where he is since he’s been there for a long time. But he wants to move out in December but I don’t see that as a possibility if he doesn’t find a higher paying job. I don’t normally push him Bc I believe he can do things on his own but now I need to push him in order to make sure he understands that he can’t stay at his old job. Sure if they paid more and gave him a set schedule I wouldn’t mind him staying there but they have no hours to give and right now as much as I hate to say it. Until he gets a better paying job we will struggle until he does.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve been with him for 11 years now so this is the first time this is happening.
- Date posted
- 3y
It sucks that you’re having to deal with all of this. With the right support you can make it through it though. Do you do erp or have any practices that you use to deal with things? I’ve found listening to the OCD stories podcast to be really helpful. Like I said, I also do yoga/meditate.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ClearMind20 He’s a very kind soul. I know he is scared too. He asked this morning saying can we really both do this with the way our mental states are right now!? I am the only person besides certain people who have been there for him.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 It sounds like you’re in a tricky spot. I mean this in all seriousness. If I were in your shoes I would talk to a professional. Things like this are so hard to deal with on your own, even as a couple. It sounds like you both want the best for one another though, which is a great starting point. It might help to talk to someone and do some ERP. Or somthing to help cope with the stress.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ClearMind20 My partner and I just had a serious conversation. I asked him how he views our relationship and he feels our relationship is strained right now. I told him yeah it has been strained due to all the stress this year. He’s saying how he can function like a normal human being and how right now he has no emotional reaction to anything right now. He said reason why he feels the relationship is strained is Bc he feels like we didn’t get to know each other well in the beginning. To work our way up as friends. I told him that we became friends throughout the 11 years we’ve been together and I even asked him if he is only with me Bc I make his life easier. He said no and that he does love me a lot but he’s just too depressed to show it. All I wanna do is cry… he feels like where ever he goes he feels like he brings bad luck with him. He told me throughout his whole life I am the only person who stuck by him and had any faith in him. I am worried I am with him Bc I don’t wanna be alone and that maybe that I am in denial about not wanting to end the relationship…. How can I fix this!?… 😞😭
- Date posted
- 3y
Im sorry I’m not of much help, I don’t have any words of wisdom but like I said, it sounds like you both have each others best interest in mind which is a great start. If at all possible I would talk to a professional counselor to get some perspective. It’s may or may not be comforting to hear and you might know this already but recovery from OCD is a process. That said, the treatments are known to be pretty effective when done well. If ocd is at the root of the issue then treatment might help.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
My boyfriend told me that he feels like he’s losing me, that I’ve changed, and that I don’t seem happy to see him anymore. I know that this should hurt me deeply, but when he said it, I didn’t feel anything. And now I’m terrified. Why didn’t I react? Why didn’t I feel instant sadness or guilt? It’s like I was emotionally blocked, like I didn’t care at all—and that thought is destroying me. What if this means I don’t love him? What if I’ve just been lying to myself and I don’t want to accept the truth? I feel so disconnected and numb. My brain keeps telling me: “If you really cared, you would feel something.” But instead, I feel nothing. And the fact that I feel nothing makes me panic even more. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to feel so much, and now it’s like I can’t access my emotions at all. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to feel like this forever. I just want to feel normal again
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past week, I’ve been feeling pretty good about my relationship. I wanted to be closer to them and I felt really affectionate. I had no issue talking to them all day. Sure there were some slip ups here and there, but for the most part, I would go back to feeling better but around last night I started getting these numb feelings again, and I didn’t think much of it because I knew it wasn’t going to last however, these feelings have now bled into today now I feel disgusted at the thought of doing anything with them, which is strange because just two days ago I wanted to be all over them I was almost obsessed with them now I feel off putt by any flirting or anything of the sort and it’s making me sad because I really miss feeling OK again. We have a date in a couple of days and I worry that I won’t be emotionally present and I will be disgusted by their presence and I will want to break up with them which I don’t really want my ERP therapist appointment is the day before our date so I’m hoping maybe it will help but I am worried that I’ll feel disgusted by their presence and I won’t feel anything if we hold hands or even kiss they’re such a sweet and kind person and I don’t wanna lose them, but I fear that my feelings being inconsistent will be an issue. I just wanna feel OK again and not have to worry about whether or not, I’m going to like them any given day. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t know what changed or caused me to feel this way. It makes me wanna run, I think what triggered this is because I saw somebody that I thought was attractive and started having intrusive Thoughts. And now I feel disgusted by their presence I don’t want to feel disgusted by their presence because I was feeling so good the other day and I wanted to be around them and now I don’t and it’s very concerning and I don’t wanna feel like this. I’m scared. I’m going to feel like this our date is in Four days and I worry I’m going to feel like this still in four days and I’m going to not be in the right headspace to go on this date with them. I don’t wanna cancel it because we don’t get to see each other that often, but I worry that I will not be happy on our date and I will want to run away and break up with them. I know relationships are a choice but what if I’m leading them on and I’m staying with them because I feel bad I’m just worried that I’ll never feel for them again. Please help me.
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