Why is it I only feel love randomly… I know I’ve been under a lot of stress. My uncle died 2 days ago and I am sad about it but I feel normal more than I have ever been. Why…. I know I need to sit with it but it’s difficult. One day I feel so good to at I can say okay. I know I love my partner and everything is okay. But then I start thinking about the future and it all goes down hill.

Hi, Mandy7710- First of all, you have my condilances. More to your question though. It’s a really tough one to answer (probably why it’s so scary) but one of the pieces of advice that helped me when I was really struggling with relationship ocd was given by a counselor. They told me to think about “acts of love” that I did for my then girlfriend (now wife of 6 years). Clinically, I dont know if it’s solid advice. I’m not a counselor, but it helped me get through. Maybe it will be of benefit to you too

Thinking of my future is what triggers my ROCD

At first it use to feel like ROCD now it doesn’t…..I hardly get thoughts… but when I think about leaving there is something in me that doesn’t wanna leave…. I even told him recently I wanna get married it felt genuine. I thought he wanted to break up with me. I started crying a little bit. ROCD I am even thinking I dont have that….

I still show acts of love even though I don’t feel any…

It gets worse when my partner gets negative. He has mental problems too… so it can be hard sometimes. We kinda got in an argument and I didn’t talk to him for an hour when I fell asleep he crulled up next to me saying sorry to me Bc he knows he upsetted me.

I’ve been worried about our financial future and it causes me to panic badly. He has very bad social anxiety

I don’t wanna leave but I don’t know how much more I can take… my relationship use to be so happy until that conversation he had with me over a year ago. Ever since then things went downhill from there and My relationship hasn’t felt normal since….

I am just so stressed out I really wanna scream! It not just him it’s everything around me…. My car making weird sounds that causes my ocd to spike more. Having people rely on me too much for rides or doing things for them. My cat using the floor as the litter box. I just can’t take much more of this…. I can’t do it!! I am still depressed and get pissed off at every little thing. I haven’t been happy for over a year! I just can’t do it! And on top of that we have until January to move out of our roommates house… but he wants to move out in December while working at a crappy job!!!? I told him he needs a better job too in order to move out in December. The more stress that piles on the more I am breaking down and getting angry at everyone and everything around me… I just wanna bash my head against the wall!! I have more money going out than in and while he does help pay for things my ocd causes me to obsess thinking I’m not doing enough!

Leaving sounds easier but I don’t wanna leave. I know for over the past year we’ve both have been extremely stressed and that’s why things have been difficultz

I just want my relationship back to normal again….

I’ve been with him for 11 years now… I want to be in love with him and I know that being in love is just a feeling… I just don’t know what to do anymore

Sorry I am just really scared about all this…. I just feel like I wanna give up on everything. What’s scary is whenever he touches me I hear a voice saying don’t touch or you don’t want to do that with him. It’s really breaking my heart… I know there is issues but how can we work on them when our mental states are crap

You don’t need to apologize to me, although I think the fact that you feel the need to probably speaks to your character. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now which from what I’ve read (and personal expeience). Tends to exacterbste OCD symptoms. That probably doesn’t make the feeling go away but it might explain why it’s so hard right now.

One of the things that helps me (prep for a cliche) is meditation. I know that gets thrown around a lot as a vague platitude. It really has helped me cope with my OCD though. Especially when I have a lot of other stressors in my life that I can’t control.

Is your partner aware of your ROCD?

My wife and I have struggled lately and even considered couple counseling. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a productive discussion when all parties involved are so emotionally invested in the situation.

I’ve been with him for 11 years now so this is the first time this is happening.

Im sorry I’m not of much help, I don’t have any words of wisdom but like I said, it sounds like you both have each others best interest in mind which is a great start. If at all possible I would talk to a professional counselor to get some perspective. It’s may or may not be comforting to hear and you might know this already but recovery from OCD is a process. That said, the treatments are known to be pretty effective when done well. If ocd is at the root of the issue then treatment might help.