- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi, Mandy7710- First of all, you have my condilances. More to your question though. It’s a really tough one to answer (probably why it’s so scary) but one of the pieces of advice that helped me when I was really struggling with relationship ocd was given by a counselor. They told me to think about “acts of love” that I did for my then girlfriend (now wife of 6 years). Clinically, I dont know if it’s solid advice. I’m not a counselor, but it helped me get through. Maybe it will be of benefit to you too
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thinking of my future is what triggers my ROCD
- Date posted
- 3y ago
At first it use to feel like ROCD now it doesn’t…..I hardly get thoughts… but when I think about leaving there is something in me that doesn’t wanna leave…. I even told him recently I wanna get married it felt genuine. I thought he wanted to break up with me. I started crying a little bit. ROCD I am even thinking I dont have that….
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I still show acts of love even though I don’t feel any…
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It gets worse when my partner gets negative. He has mental problems too… so it can be hard sometimes. We kinda got in an argument and I didn’t talk to him for an hour when I fell asleep he crulled up next to me saying sorry to me Bc he knows he upsetted me.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been worried about our financial future and it causes me to panic badly. He has very bad social anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t wanna leave but I don’t know how much more I can take… my relationship use to be so happy until that conversation he had with me over a year ago. Ever since then things went downhill from there and My relationship hasn’t felt normal since….
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I am just so stressed out I really wanna scream! It not just him it’s everything around me…. My car making weird sounds that causes my ocd to spike more. Having people rely on me too much for rides or doing things for them. My cat using the floor as the litter box. I just can’t take much more of this…. I can’t do it!! I am still depressed and get pissed off at every little thing. I haven’t been happy for over a year! I just can’t do it! And on top of that we have until January to move out of our roommates house… but he wants to move out in December while working at a crappy job!!!? I told him he needs a better job too in order to move out in December. The more stress that piles on the more I am breaking down and getting angry at everyone and everything around me… I just wanna bash my head against the wall!! I have more money going out than in and while he does help pay for things my ocd causes me to obsess thinking I’m not doing enough!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Leaving sounds easier but I don’t wanna leave. I know for over the past year we’ve both have been extremely stressed and that’s why things have been difficultz
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I just want my relationship back to normal again….
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been with him for 11 years now… I want to be in love with him and I know that being in love is just a feeling… I just don’t know what to do anymore
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sorry I am just really scared about all this…. I just feel like I wanna give up on everything. What’s scary is whenever he touches me I hear a voice saying don’t touch or you don’t want to do that with him. It’s really breaking my heart… I know there is issues but how can we work on them when our mental states are crap
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You don’t need to apologize to me, although I think the fact that you feel the need to probably speaks to your character. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now which from what I’ve read (and personal expeience). Tends to exacterbste OCD symptoms. That probably doesn’t make the feeling go away but it might explain why it’s so hard right now.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
One of the things that helps me (prep for a cliche) is meditation. I know that gets thrown around a lot as a vague platitude. It really has helped me cope with my OCD though. Especially when I have a lot of other stressors in my life that I can’t control.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Is your partner aware of your ROCD?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yeah he is aware. He’s been patient with it for over a year. I need medication for my depression more than my anxiety. I’ve been overly depressed for over a year now and it’s becoming too much to deal with now.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
He needs help too. He needs therapy mainly to help him get a hold of his anger and social anxiety.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
My wife and I have struggled lately and even considered couple counseling. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a productive discussion when all parties involved are so emotionally invested in the situation.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I might need to consider that b/c sometimes it can get difficult to say what’s on my mind. I did just tell him on the phone (working at the moment) that he needs to find a new job that pays more in order for us to even move out that we can’t just survive on my check since I get the higher pay. But his job doesn’t give him a set schedule and he get lower pay. He’s really comfortable where he is since he’s been there for a long time. But he wants to move out in December but I don’t see that as a possibility if he doesn’t find a higher paying job. I don’t normally push him Bc I believe he can do things on his own but now I need to push him in order to make sure he understands that he can’t stay at his old job. Sure if they paid more and gave him a set schedule I wouldn’t mind him staying there but they have no hours to give and right now as much as I hate to say it. Until he gets a better paying job we will struggle until he does.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been with him for 11 years now so this is the first time this is happening.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It sucks that you’re having to deal with all of this. With the right support you can make it through it though. Do you do erp or have any practices that you use to deal with things? I’ve found listening to the OCD stories podcast to be really helpful. Like I said, I also do yoga/meditate.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ClearMind20 He’s a very kind soul. I know he is scared too. He asked this morning saying can we really both do this with the way our mental states are right now!? I am the only person besides certain people who have been there for him.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Mandy7710 It sounds like you’re in a tricky spot. I mean this in all seriousness. If I were in your shoes I would talk to a professional. Things like this are so hard to deal with on your own, even as a couple. It sounds like you both want the best for one another though, which is a great starting point. It might help to talk to someone and do some ERP. Or somthing to help cope with the stress.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ClearMind20 My partner and I just had a serious conversation. I asked him how he views our relationship and he feels our relationship is strained right now. I told him yeah it has been strained due to all the stress this year. He’s saying how he can function like a normal human being and how right now he has no emotional reaction to anything right now. He said reason why he feels the relationship is strained is Bc he feels like we didn’t get to know each other well in the beginning. To work our way up as friends. I told him that we became friends throughout the 11 years we’ve been together and I even asked him if he is only with me Bc I make his life easier. He said no and that he does love me a lot but he’s just too depressed to show it. All I wanna do is cry… he feels like where ever he goes he feels like he brings bad luck with him. He told me throughout his whole life I am the only person who stuck by him and had any faith in him. I am worried I am with him Bc I don’t wanna be alone and that maybe that I am in denial about not wanting to end the relationship…. How can I fix this!?… 😞😭
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Im sorry I’m not of much help, I don’t have any words of wisdom but like I said, it sounds like you both have each others best interest in mind which is a great start. If at all possible I would talk to a professional counselor to get some perspective. It’s may or may not be comforting to hear and you might know this already but recovery from OCD is a process. That said, the treatments are known to be pretty effective when done well. If ocd is at the root of the issue then treatment might help.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? That’s been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I don’t want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do I’ll feel sad or lonely. I’m also sitting here imagining being with women and I can’t tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. I’ve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that I’m gay and I need to come out to everyone. It’s distressing and I don’t feel like myself anymore
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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