- Username
- 7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi, Mandy7710- First of all, you have my condilances. More to your question though. It’s a really tough one to answer (probably why it’s so scary) but one of the pieces of advice that helped me when I was really struggling with relationship ocd was given by a counselor. They told me to think about “acts of love” that I did for my then girlfriend (now wife of 6 years). Clinically, I dont know if it’s solid advice. I’m not a counselor, but it helped me get through. Maybe it will be of benefit to you too
Thinking of my future is what triggers my ROCD
At first it use to feel like ROCD now it doesn’t…..I hardly get thoughts… but when I think about leaving there is something in me that doesn’t wanna leave…. I even told him recently I wanna get married it felt genuine. I thought he wanted to break up with me. I started crying a little bit. ROCD I am even thinking I dont have that….
I still show acts of love even though I don’t feel any…
It gets worse when my partner gets negative. He has mental problems too… so it can be hard sometimes. We kinda got in an argument and I didn’t talk to him for an hour when I fell asleep he crulled up next to me saying sorry to me Bc he knows he upsetted me.
I’ve been worried about our financial future and it causes me to panic badly. He has very bad social anxiety
I don’t wanna leave but I don’t know how much more I can take… my relationship use to be so happy until that conversation he had with me over a year ago. Ever since then things went downhill from there and My relationship hasn’t felt normal since….
I am just so stressed out I really wanna scream! It not just him it’s everything around me…. My car making weird sounds that causes my ocd to spike more. Having people rely on me too much for rides or doing things for them. My cat using the floor as the litter box. I just can’t take much more of this…. I can’t do it!! I am still depressed and get pissed off at every little thing. I haven’t been happy for over a year! I just can’t do it! And on top of that we have until January to move out of our roommates house… but he wants to move out in December while working at a crappy job!!!? I told him he needs a better job too in order to move out in December. The more stress that piles on the more I am breaking down and getting angry at everyone and everything around me… I just wanna bash my head against the wall!! I have more money going out than in and while he does help pay for things my ocd causes me to obsess thinking I’m not doing enough!
Leaving sounds easier but I don’t wanna leave. I know for over the past year we’ve both have been extremely stressed and that’s why things have been difficultz
I just want my relationship back to normal again….
I’ve been with him for 11 years now… I want to be in love with him and I know that being in love is just a feeling… I just don’t know what to do anymore
Sorry I am just really scared about all this…. I just feel like I wanna give up on everything. What’s scary is whenever he touches me I hear a voice saying don’t touch or you don’t want to do that with him. It’s really breaking my heart… I know there is issues but how can we work on them when our mental states are crap
You don’t need to apologize to me, although I think the fact that you feel the need to probably speaks to your character. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now which from what I’ve read (and personal expeience). Tends to exacterbste OCD symptoms. That probably doesn’t make the feeling go away but it might explain why it’s so hard right now.
One of the things that helps me (prep for a cliche) is meditation. I know that gets thrown around a lot as a vague platitude. It really has helped me cope with my OCD though. Especially when I have a lot of other stressors in my life that I can’t control.
Is your partner aware of your ROCD?
Yeah he is aware. He’s been patient with it for over a year. I need medication for my depression more than my anxiety. I’ve been overly depressed for over a year now and it’s becoming too much to deal with now.
He needs help too. He needs therapy mainly to help him get a hold of his anger and social anxiety.
My wife and I have struggled lately and even considered couple counseling. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a productive discussion when all parties involved are so emotionally invested in the situation.
I might need to consider that b/c sometimes it can get difficult to say what’s on my mind. I did just tell him on the phone (working at the moment) that he needs to find a new job that pays more in order for us to even move out that we can’t just survive on my check since I get the higher pay. But his job doesn’t give him a set schedule and he get lower pay. He’s really comfortable where he is since he’s been there for a long time. But he wants to move out in December but I don’t see that as a possibility if he doesn’t find a higher paying job. I don’t normally push him Bc I believe he can do things on his own but now I need to push him in order to make sure he understands that he can’t stay at his old job. Sure if they paid more and gave him a set schedule I wouldn’t mind him staying there but they have no hours to give and right now as much as I hate to say it. Until he gets a better paying job we will struggle until he does.
I’ve been with him for 11 years now so this is the first time this is happening.
It sucks that you’re having to deal with all of this. With the right support you can make it through it though. Do you do erp or have any practices that you use to deal with things? I’ve found listening to the OCD stories podcast to be really helpful. Like I said, I also do yoga/meditate.
@ClearMind20 He’s a very kind soul. I know he is scared too. He asked this morning saying can we really both do this with the way our mental states are right now!? I am the only person besides certain people who have been there for him.
@Mandy7710 It sounds like you’re in a tricky spot. I mean this in all seriousness. If I were in your shoes I would talk to a professional. Things like this are so hard to deal with on your own, even as a couple. It sounds like you both want the best for one another though, which is a great starting point. It might help to talk to someone and do some ERP. Or somthing to help cope with the stress.
@ClearMind20 My partner and I just had a serious conversation. I asked him how he views our relationship and he feels our relationship is strained right now. I told him yeah it has been strained due to all the stress this year. He’s saying how he can function like a normal human being and how right now he has no emotional reaction to anything right now. He said reason why he feels the relationship is strained is Bc he feels like we didn’t get to know each other well in the beginning. To work our way up as friends. I told him that we became friends throughout the 11 years we’ve been together and I even asked him if he is only with me Bc I make his life easier. He said no and that he does love me a lot but he’s just too depressed to show it. All I wanna do is cry… he feels like where ever he goes he feels like he brings bad luck with him. He told me throughout his whole life I am the only person who stuck by him and had any faith in him. I am worried I am with him Bc I don’t wanna be alone and that maybe that I am in denial about not wanting to end the relationship…. How can I fix this!?… 😞😭
Im sorry I’m not of much help, I don’t have any words of wisdom but like I said, it sounds like you both have each others best interest in mind which is a great start. If at all possible I would talk to a professional counselor to get some perspective. It’s may or may not be comforting to hear and you might know this already but recovery from OCD is a process. That said, the treatments are known to be pretty effective when done well. If ocd is at the root of the issue then treatment might help.
Why does my OCD feel so real? One minute I’m so in love with my boyfriend then the next I fear I’m falling out of love and that I’m meant to be with someone else. I feel so numb and empty I just feel emotionless once the anxiety fades away. It actually feels as if my thoughts are true how can I just feel like me again
I felt love yesterday but today I don’t.... what is wrong with me.... how can you tell if u really don’t love someone?... 😞 I don’t wanna tell him that bc I know I do love him a lot but I just feel like I am faking it.... I hate ocd
I really need someone to talk to… just to vent… if not.. i just need get this out and everything can ignore if they want.… I don’t know what to do… I know I’ve been severely obsessing for 2 year about if I truly love my partner or not for 2 years… I am severely saddened about how I feel right now…. Before I knew I wanted to love him and stay.. it felt genuine like I was really mentally sick… but now… my partner looks like a stranger to me, I get annoyed at him easily even if he’s just sitting still… it’s like he’s a different person to me and I hate it… I wanted so badly for me to know if I love him or not… and it’s like our time together never happened… I don’t cuddle talk or do much of anything anymore with him and it bothers me… I feel no emotional connection with him… maybe his flaws are too much for me… 😢😢 I don’t know…. I want to love him again like before but I completely feel like I’m lying to him and myself… I don’t wanna end my relationship I really don’t want to… I do t know how badly ROCD can get but… this is the worst I’ve ever had… my relationship is gonna die… 😢 I’m sitting here quietly crying while he is asleep….
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond