- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
My honest answer is that I don’t focus on being afraid of it and instead be aware of its potential, and recognize that I have the tools to help my self, and I know where to go to get help if I need more suooort. I have also recently shifted my focus from leaning into the fear, and instead am leaning into the joy , and focusing on being aware of and creating opportunities for joy in my life and ride the wave when anxiety comes during those activities and practice response prevention by being aware of the anxiety wave and doing my best not to do compulsion. That’s just me, but hope some it helps 😊
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The tide comes in, the tide goes back out 🌊💙
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@JoyousEffort Yup. As long ya don’t turn your back on the ocean, the undercurrent won’t knock you off your feet 🌊🌊🌊🌊
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I like this approach of thinking! Because that way you don’t feel upset when the symptoms come back up you aren’t disappointed. I’m slowly getting to that mindset as well you seem like such an awesome, amazing, and knowledgeable person!!! I hope your road to managing OCD goes well!!! Have a great Saturday!!!💗☺️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The fact that I am so triggerd by compliments is a clear indication I still have some legit work to do in that area! LOL 🤪 Thank you very much for your kind words. When I first realized I was in complete relapse, it kind of broke me for a couple days, because I felt like I failed, and the what “if’s” locked me in my head for hours at a time, and the idea of returning to treatment was devastating. After a couple days of that lovely experience, I moved closer to self compassion, and recognized that identifying I need help and being willing to seak it is not weakness but a strength. At that point I was able to start re-engaging in some of the tools I had learned. That’s why establishing this mindset is important for me, because the relapse sucked, but the absolute bs I put my self thru with self judgment once I identified the relapse was not helpful or necessary.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
How do you deal with fear of relapse? I went through private therapy a year ago and felt so much better for about 8 months, little to no ocd worries. Then a month ago a new fear popped up and despite all the knowledge therapy equipped me with I went into a really bad place. I’m worried I’ll spend my whole life between themes.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Your posts have really been resonating with me! Would you mind sharing some of the tools you’ve created for yourself to try and avoid relapse? I mentioned in an earlier post that I am struggling with ROCD and you were so kind with your response! My most recent issue I’m finding is being scared of become pregnant with my new husband which is something I have always wanted with him up until my intrusive thought “ruined” me and what I think I want. I don’t want to miss out on what I know in my heart I have wanted for years. My most recent thought is “how are you supposed to have and love a baby if you don’t even know if you love your husband.” This is devistating for me.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Again, I am sorry to hear you are going thru that! Like I said in my other reply, my list is super simple and mostly common sense, and includes things I know to do, but may forget to do when life just turns my world upsideside down, or when trying to accomplish or do something that is super important to me & my mind is so focused, I forget to do the basics. . My “Self Care” list to help give my body and mind what it needs to be strong in the face of the big stuff is: - Following my Sleep Rotune and starting it before 10:00 - Eat Breakfast daily - Drink lots of water first thing before anything else. (reduces cortisol levels that accumulate during sleep) - Use the Exercise tool on the NOCD app to do 1 exposure daily. (About 10 minutes) - Attend OCD community group at least once a week. - Take a 10 minute walk daily (struggling with this right now and not doing it increases the potential for a flareup with my agoraphobia) - Make time at least once a day for something that bring moments of calm or joy: * Guided Meditatiin (1 min to 10 min maximum) * Laughter * Hugs * Time in Nature * 3 minute Dance Break * 30 min of creativity: Succlent Garden Painting Building something with my power tools Wood Burning Art Everyone’s needs are different, but hopefully mine will help inspire ideas for what you could put on your list to meet your needs. Sending hugs and strength!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
If you don’t mind sharing, what were you most effective ERP exercises? I’m in the middle of a relapse and found your post so encouraging.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I think ERP exercises are so incredibly individual, so instead of sharing specific examples of my exposures, I will share what activities and approaches helped me with making them effective: 1) Self Compassion: I did a compulsion…. I have OCD…. AND…I am taking steps to get better. 2) Progrss…NOT…Perfection (so hard for me!) : These behaviors did not develope overnight and they will not go away overnight, I would use the OFF switch if I had one! Reduction of compulsions or reduction of the duration of compulsions is progress and moves me closer to my goal of Managing My OCD 3) Not every tool is useful to ME: Try things a few times, and if they don’t help me then adjust, or do something else…. Don’t try Harder, Try Different 4) Exercise Tool on NOCD app: This helped me so much with my exposures because it gives suggestions - didn’t use any of them..lol, I still found them helpful because they helped me get unstuck and come up with my own. 5) Community Groups thru NOCD: These have been so impactful for me, just participating is an exposure for my social anxiety. I have had so many light bulb moments from listening to what others share. In responding with compassion to others, it has helped me with learning self compassion in the face of the same struggles. I have left quite distressed a few times, but those moments consistantly have become the biggest learning experiences for me. 6) Planned Exposures & being Exposed to Triggers are 2 different things & I approach them differently. - Planned Exposure: Goal is to trigger the distress, lean in to it and resist doing compulsions, safety seeking, or calming behavior. These can range from 10 seconds - 5 min max for me. My anxiety will not always comedown during the exposure if I stay with the trigger, so once it peaks and if it doesn’t start coming down, I remove my self from the trigger and stay in the exposure by not doing compulsions or any calming behavior until anxiety is half. - Being Exposed to Triggers: The goal of doing all this hard work it to get back to the things I value and enjoy in life that OCD has made it difficult to do, or enjoy. I have been working on embracing the joy and doing the things I have not been able to, or have avoided and focusing on creating positive experiences and riding the wave of anxiety when it comes when I am triggered in those spaces or situations. And then focus on the moment at hand and lean into the joy. I try to catch compulsions, and if I do accidentally do them, I try to identify with out judgement and refocus on the task at hand. This leaning into the joy started with the simple choice to dance and sing in the shower, completely present in that space and moment and just having fun. Hope some of this is helpful, or sparks some ideas of what would be helpful to you. ✌️😊
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@HappyTurtle Truly a wise and helpful response. I want to look into the community groups on this app for sure. Thank you for putting yourself out there for us. It’s truly a gift 💕
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@emmy sue wtf…Thanks a lot… you have gone and made me cry! seriously & LOL! I appreciate and am humbled by your very kind words.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@emmy sue Also wanted to mention… the grouos are super simple to sign up for, and you can attend and check out as many as you like, and it is thru zoom and we are supposed to keep our cameras on, but if that is challenging at first, you can just use the chat and direct message the therapist, or advocate leading the group and let them know. I start on camera, and when my anxiety goes high and stays there (normally after talking) I go off camera for a few moments to allow the anxiety to come down on its own and then go back on camera… so ya, I totally use the groups as an exposure! LOL
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
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