I MIGHT ACTUALLY MOLEST SOMEONE. so i was applying makeup on my sister in a aggressive and hasty and twice i had the thought it doesnt matter if part kf your hand touches her chest which scared me. Then i started applying it on her forehead in the same more aggressive motion checking to see if my hand touched her chest. It felt like i was doing tue checkimg compulsion but also ocd assigns random meanings to random actions. If my hand had actually touched her chest it was mestation but it didnt. Im so scared it waa so automatic. I thought my brain knows not to do that kind of compulsion!!!! Like in class it happens a lot where i move a body part and it feels like a compulsion. Im so scared ill moleat someone as a compulsion. In class i was like my mind wpuld only do that compulsion if i was certain i wouldnt touch anything which makes sense cuz its her forehead so i wouldnt touch her chest anyways. Im so fucking scared.

POCD

kevint

Date posted: 4y

Ooof I never realized i had the same issue until i read your post. The feeling honestly makes my heart beat faster and I feel like everything is on pause as im trying to figure it out. But here's my understanding, youre brain has soo many thoughts throughout the day. We actually select the thoughts that we think has an impact or meaning to our life. For people with ocd, we select the thoughts that scares us because we feel that it has a lot of meaning. In reality, everybody would have thoughts of touching someone inappropriately because our brain likes to keep thinking of different scenarios, but they realize that the thought was just random and means nothing. For us, we latch onto it. As you can see, what started it all was the thought of "it doesnt matter if part of your hand touched her chest." You responded with being scared. Next time when that thought appears or a similar one, dont respond to it but also not resist it. This is actually training your mind so you wont be able to ignore the thoughts the first time you try it. When you said "I might actaully molest someone" is another thought that invokes fear. You apply what i said again to this thought. Dont respond or ruminate over it but also dont resist having this thought because this thought is common.

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 4y

Thanks. Its just that i dont know whether or not i performed a checking compulsion because my ocd is sneaky. I started applying makeup more gently after that thought and after ruminating i started applying makeup in the same aggressive force like before but on her forehead with checking compulsion thoughts. Now either my brain knew applying makeup on her forehead wouldnt touch chest so chdcking compulsion safe or the compulsion is in my head and i want to ruminate on it but i have better things to do. Do you also get ocd about ocd. Very annoying

kevint

Date posted: 4y

@Lucywilefire Yes i for sure get ocd about ocd. Its happens a lot. If you are confused if about whether it was a complusion or not, thats your ocd kicking in. Honestly the subject of your obsessions isnt as important as we think they are when we are trying to manage our ocd. So just treat that event that you desperately trying to figure out like any other ocd episode. What you did could be a compulsion or it could not be, its okay to not be certain about it. That may be hard to be okay but by having this type of mentality, these type of thoughts wont bother you anymore. Here's the thing, the more you respond to your ocd thoguhts the more annoying it becomes 😑.

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 4y

@kevint True. Thank you.

Jowowow

Date posted: 4y

We are with you. Try to meditate when that urge comes! Not mindfulness meditation!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond