Will I ever know if this is ocd or denial 😭

Sometimes there is doubt about whether you are deep down creating responses through OCD and deceiving yourself. I think we would know if we were in denial. That's why OCD bothers us so much. But even though we might be, look: The fact that you choose to believe anything that you are the person your OCD tells you is proof that you are not. People in denial know they are in denial and just don't care. Look at us complaining about this. There is no way that knot is OCD.I hope you can see the wonderful person you are and have the peace you deserve.🤍

How do I know if my obsession really is ocd or If im lying to myself about a past intention

So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?