- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi, I can relate to an extent. I tend to ruminate over people who have rejected me. I know it’s extremely strange. Are you on meds and are they helping?
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m not but am considering it. Are you?
- Date posted
- 3y
Just started taking them, the ruminations were so strong that it was scary, felt like I was going crazy. I can’t even date with this problem, I just want to be in the present fully you know.
- Date posted
- 3y
Good luck to you. I really hope they help you out.
- Date posted
- 3y
Your own thoughts and compulsions will always seem like the hardest kind to you because they are your own.
- Date posted
- 3y
Well said.
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm going to bed. I would really like to talk more with you about this though. It feels nice to talk with someone who goes through the same thing. I hope we can talk again soon.
- Date posted
- 3y
Likewise. Talk soon.
- Date posted
- 3y
Absolutely. Happens all the time!
- Date posted
- 3y
How do you deal with the persistent thoughts?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I don’t have a good answer as I’m still learning. Reminding myself that ruminations are temporary helps. Saying things like it’s okay not to know what’s gonna happen.
- Date posted
- 3y
I try my damdest to allow the thoughts to pass with out giving them credit as being the truth. It is something I deal with every single day and it is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It's been 3 years now and the same thoughts and feelings through out 2 different relationships. The only thing I have come to believe as fact is that if you try to force yourself I to feeling better or into certainty both your feelings and uncertainty will become worse.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yea mine have spanned all of my relationships for the last 10 years. I’ve ended relationships just to quiet my maddening mind. I’m in a 2 year relationship now and I’m trying not to repeat the patterns of the past. I agree that forcing yourself In the direction of certainty does not work, but tell my brain that!
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like if my compulsion was physical that ERP may work better for me. I may be way off base here but is it easier to stop a physical compulsion than a mental? It’s so hard not not think.
- Date posted
- 3y
Ironically, I have been with my wife for two years now as well and do not want to repeat the same either. God I can only imagine what it would be like to go through this for 10 years. I know how hard it is man. Do you deal with constant thoughts that your are lying to yourself?
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s sad but I’ve just gotten used to it I guess. I’m hoping to pop the question but it feels wrong to do with my kind flooded with doubts, even if they are just OCD. My constant thoughts are just all variations of doubts that my girlfriend is not right for me. We get along amazingly though and have great trust, it’s a solid relationship.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brian Months before we got married, I agonized over it the entire time. Yet, we are now married, I still have ROCD and she still supports me. And to be honest, even though I was anxious as all hell during the ceremony, I actually ended up having a pretty good time. Do you talk with her about your thoughts and feelings?
- Date posted
- 3y
@JLG323 I feel encouraged by your story, thanks for sharing. Just a little bit. I don’t wanna scare her by sharing all of these unreasonable doubts with her. She won’t understand.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brian If she won't try to understand what you go through, would it really be worth it? You may be surprised if you have her a chance.
- Date posted
- 3y
@JLG323 I’ve shared with her that I have OCD and that I have doubts and ruminations. I just feel like if I shared ALL of my OCD doubts with her it may freak her out.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brian It could. I've had the exact same thoughts. My current ruminations are a regular topic between my wife and I. It feels a lot better to get them out then it does to keep them in.
- Date posted
- 3y
Perhaps, but try telling that to the person who washes their hands 7 times before leaving a bathroom.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I know and I don’t mean to diminish those struggles at all! This sucks all around.
- Date posted
- 3y
Im just doubting this therapy. It’s expensive and it just seems like it’s telling me to live in the moment and not to engage with ruminations. I just don’t see how to do that successfully.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sure thing, goodnight
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
- Date posted
- 20w
I have really started to take control of my compulsions and im starting to string together better days! Still not great days or even good, but they are better!!! I have controlled my outward compulsions (googling, research, reassurance, checking) the past couple of days and felt the positive impact of that. But unfortunately, I am realizing that the rumination is still constant. My sexuality and relationship are the only two things constantly on my brain, and if they aren’t I freak out and wonder why im not thinking about them! Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the rumination. Sometimes I don’t even notice im doing it, but it’s taking up 90% of my day. Once I start to tackle this I think I may make some real big progress! Hope everyone is fighting today! ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 8w
Ruminating is such a sneaky compulsion. It feels like the only “reasonable” thing to do in the moment because your brain is screaming at you that something is urgent, important, and absolutely essential. It’s like your mind is sounding sirens, telling you that you have to think it through right now because everything looks so black and white in the moment. The trap is, if I don’t ruminate, it feels like I’m just ignoring reality and living in some magical fantasy world. But the truth is, even when things feel the most logical and crystal clear to me with OCD, they are almost always totally irrational to everyone else. Someone said something on here that stuck with me: “nobody ever ruminated their way to certainty.” And that’s it. Rumination is just an attempt to feel certain, but with OCD there is no such thing as enough certainty. The more you chase it, the longer you stay stuck. The work, as uncomfortable as it is, is learning to sit in the uncertainty and stop feeding the cycle…even when everything in you is screaming to figure it out. That’s the way forward.
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