- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Same. For me I have been with my bf for 4 years and haven’t thought of anyone since we started dating. it was triggered when I met someone that showed interest me which hasn’t happened since before dating my bf and it sent me into an endless cycle of worries “what if you want to be with them instead” “no I don’t” “yes you do” & the thoughts are endless. I plan to marry my bf etc like as you mentioned with ur gf so it literally sucks when you have thoughts of being with someone else when u don’t want the thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y
I had the same thoughts about 8 months ago about the same girl but I don’t know how they went away I think I just let them be and they went away on there own and now there back my mind panics and thinks well it must mean somthing or you would have just thought about another person
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- 4y
Yup ur brain convinces you that you have a crush on them lol so that leads to googling and obsessing and guilt. When in reality it’s just your brain trying to protect what you care about most (your relationship)
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- 4y
I literally googled sooo much cases of people not having a spark or whatever to begin with but then having the best relationships and it brought me some comfort but as you know with ocd it just comes back even worse can I ask what do you do to help you if you don’t mind sharing
- Date posted
- 4y
I still struggle tbh. I’m definitely a googler for sure. I googled so many endless questions that would just end up making me more stressed. Lately I’ve been doing my best to not Google because it makes every situation 10x worse. I think it’s important to realize that if you didn’t really care about ur partner and didn’t love them you wouldn’t care THIS much about the thoughts ans they wouldn’t cause you this much distress. For me personally, I value my relationship so much that my obsessions are related to the fear of losing my bf so I will obsess about anytning that could potentially ruin it (such as another person for example) and I will do anything to try to prevent it from happening (thus leading to the rumination of these other people). I take it day by day, some are better than others. I focus on my goals and what I want in life. Focus also on yourself- make sure you are exercising, eating right, journaling if applicable helps too. We have to realize that we just care a lot About our relationships which is why OCD latched on to it and we have to let the thoughts just float by without worrying
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- 4y
Thank you so much for your reply it means a lot iknow how much I love my girlfriend when I first had the thoughts about what if I liked this other girl more months ago it turned into so does that mean I don’t want to be with my girlfriend and then that was the thought that got stuck but because this time I’m not letting it get to that and I know it’s ocd it’s just staying at what if you like this girl more because of this stupid spark or whatever you want to call it but what I have with my girlfriend now means more to me than anything I just don’t want to have these thoughts anymore I had to tell my girlfriend about everything she is so supportive with everything It just makes me love her even more I hate having to tell her I’m having these thoughts but I feel like I’m lying to her unless I do
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah for me I tend to keep all my thoughts to myself because I know it’s just my OCD talking. Personally I think they’d do more harm then good in my relationship so I just tell him that I am struggling with my mental health and let him know how he can help etc instead of telling him every thought that I have.
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- 4y
Do you not feel a guilt or like you are lying to your S/O
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- 4y
And does it convince you that you actually like that person like you feel like you do ?
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- 4y
yes OCD convinces you of many things but you are not your thoughts.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
- Date posted
- 23w
it started when i simply worried about my partner losing feelings because she was being a bit distant and so i obviously spiraled and started thinking “oh yeah she has to be losing feelings of some sort” she was only being distant because she was preparing for her confirmation party (this is important) and me and my friend hung out the same day and ended up walking to her house to say hello to her as a joke. but i was already way too deep in my spiral. right after that interaction with her, she literally reassured me right then and there that i was “cute” and that “she really likes me” but i was so caught up in the idea that shes losing feelings for me that i couldnt accept the reassurance and kept having intrusive thoughts that shes lying to me and that she doesnt mean it. but whatever, i wasnt THAT worried because her confirmation is coming up and she wouldnt lose feelings for me before something like that right? a couple days pass by and im at her confirmation party, shes being a little distant but only because shes tired (evidently too) and so i was still in a spiral. but then i met her family, and her mom let me have her number (in case i wanna schedule something with my gf) and that sparked a whole episode. i talked to her mom a couple times and started worrying about if what it would be like it i left my gf and how it would affect me and her family and quickly a thought followed up with all her physical imperfections and how much i dont like specific ones. and then another one came up. i saw one photo pf my partner and swore it looked like someone in my math class who isnt attractive. i managed to get rid of that thought the first time, and had to deal with the imperfections idea thing for a whole month. recently tho, the unattractive girl from my math class is popping up in my head again. i cannot get it out of my head, any advice? what is this phenomenon and also im pretty sure im the only person who has dealt with all of these thoughts.
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
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