Hi just wondering if anybody has ever had the same thoughts I’ve went threw ROCD HOCD false memories you name it I’ve been there but this thought is killing me ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 2 and a half years she is the most amazing person on this world and she means everything to me the most important person in my life before I first met her I had been flirting with her friend she was very flirtatious and a pretty girl I only met her friend about 3 times everytime I was drunk well she had a boyfriend so that was that for the friend and that’s when I met my girlfriend there wasn’t that initial spark or sexual chemistry like there was with the friend but as I got to know her the more I fell for her 2 and a half years later I love this girl with all my heart I can’t imagine my life without her she is perfect to me in so many ways but the thought came to my head what if you would rather be with the friend since there was that initial spark or whatever keeping in mind I haven’t spoke to this girl for 3 years I can’t even remember a conversation we had and I can’t shake this thought it causes me so much anxiety I just want to go back to how I was with my girlfriend before these thoughts thinking about getting married having children together all these things and now the mention of it sends me into a anxiety attack if anybody has any advice or anything I would love to hear it I just want to love my girlfriend how I did before and not have these stupid thoughts :(

Same. For me I have been with my bf for 4 years and haven’t thought of anyone since we started dating. it was triggered when I met someone that showed interest me which hasn’t happened since before dating my bf and it sent me into an endless cycle of worries “what if you want to be with them instead” “no I don’t” “yes you do” & the thoughts are endless. I plan to marry my bf etc like as you mentioned with ur gf so it literally sucks when you have thoughts of being with someone else when u don’t want the thoughts

I had the same thoughts about 8 months ago about the same girl but I don’t know how they went away I think I just let them be and they went away on there own and now there back my mind panics and thinks well it must mean somthing or you would have just thought about another person

Yup ur brain convinces you that you have a crush on them lol so that leads to googling and obsessing and guilt. When in reality it’s just your brain trying to protect what you care about most (your relationship)

I literally googled sooo much cases of people not having a spark or whatever to begin with but then having the best relationships and it brought me some comfort but as you know with ocd it just comes back even worse can I ask what do you do to help you if you don’t mind sharing

I still struggle tbh. I’m definitely a googler for sure. I googled so many endless questions that would just end up making me more stressed. Lately I’ve been doing my best to not Google because it makes every situation 10x worse. I think it’s important to realize that if you didn’t really care about ur partner and didn’t love them you wouldn’t care THIS much about the thoughts ans they wouldn’t cause you this much distress. For me personally, I value my relationship so much that my obsessions are related to the fear of losing my bf so I will obsess about anytning that could potentially ruin it (such as another person for example) and I will do anything to try to prevent it from happening (thus leading to the rumination of these other people). I take it day by day, some are better than others. I focus on my goals and what I want in life. Focus also on yourself- make sure you are exercising, eating right, journaling if applicable helps too. We have to realize that we just care a lot About our relationships which is why OCD latched on to it and we have to let the thoughts just float by without worrying

Thank you so much for your reply it means a lot iknow how much I love my girlfriend when I first had the thoughts about what if I liked this other girl more months ago it turned into so does that mean I don’t want to be with my girlfriend and then that was the thought that got stuck but because this time I’m not letting it get to that and I know it’s ocd it’s just staying at what if you like this girl more because of this stupid spark or whatever you want to call it but what I have with my girlfriend now means more to me than anything I just don’t want to have these thoughts anymore I had to tell my girlfriend about everything she is so supportive with everything It just makes me love her even more I hate having to tell her I’m having these thoughts but I feel like I’m lying to her unless I do

Yeah for me I tend to keep all my thoughts to myself because I know it’s just my OCD talking. Personally I think they’d do more harm then good in my relationship so I just tell him that I am struggling with my mental health and let him know how he can help etc instead of telling him every thought that I have.

Do you not feel a guilt or like you are lying to your S/O

And does it convince you that you actually like that person like you feel like you do ?

yes OCD convinces you of many things but you are not your thoughts.