It feels like I’m just walking around “knowing” I don’t love him. Like that’s what it feels like at this point. Like I’ve accepted it. It makes me feel this way but I just can’t go through with the break up. But it keeps feeling like I want to. I don’t feel anxious or sad I just feel whatever this feeling is.

i think i feel complete apathy for my person as well

@getwellsoon It’s like it keeps feeling final like this is what I want

@cozycat And I can’t argue with it

I will try this. You’re saying no matter the thoughts or feelings give it 5 months and then I can engage in that conversation if it still feels necessary?

@cozycat Yes exactly

@Sasha Okay. It’s just hard not to engage when it makes me feel like I want it.

@cozycat Tell yourself you’ll engage, but only in five months. These five months you will put everything into saving this relationship. You will plan special dates. You’ll ask them questions about themselves you never asked. You will cook for them. You will really become vulnerable to them. After months you can give in to your thoughts all you want. But for these first five months nothing. No rumination. No expectations. Just curiosity and devotion.

@Sasha Got it. I’m gonna really try

@cozycat I know you will. You gotta see what works for you, and the only way to find out is to try. You got this my friend.

@Sasha I always see you post such wonderful advice ! What’s your story? And how’s your ocd progress going?

@LoverGirl Thank you , that’s so nice to hear. I have suffered with ocd and anxiety since I was a little child. I didn’t get help until I was 20, and I didn’t realize I actually had OCD until a year ago. But the funny thing is, everything I’ve been learning for the past ten years has given me the insight and tools to deal with OCD. Whether it was through my spiritual practice or my day to day mindful observance of what was going on in my mind and in the world; it all brought me back to the workings of the mind and the truth that I was seeking…. I have worked as an actor in Los Angeles on a lot of tv shows and indie movies. At a certain point I started to get panic attacks while working on set. It completely messed me up, and I had a hard time bouncing back. Then the pandemic happened, and my industry shut down. I’m actually shifting career paths at the moment, and going to grad school for Psychology. It feels like a new direction that I am really interested in. I’m not longer afraid of getting panic attacks as an actor, but it made me reevaluate how I feel about the industry and I’m starting to shift a little bit. As far as my progress. It’s been going the best it’s ever been. I had to have a real intense breakdown during the pandemic, to finally really look at myself and figure out how to get the help I needed. I read everything about OCD that I could, and then I got an erp therapist, and now I’m on medication. It’s all been helping. But the biggest help, is the insight I now understand even when I have a lot of anxiety or my thoughts feel really sticky. I always can fall back on this insight. I hope that answers your questions!

@Sasha Wow! you’re story is really inspiring! I applaud you for going through ocd for all those years. Iv been only suffering for 5 months and I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I’m happy to hear that you’ve found a place where you feel like you’re getting better! You’ve actually posted on a couple of my posts and have always given such great advice!

@LoverGirl Thank you for your kind words. And I’m so happy to hear that I could help in some way in your Ocd struggles. Wishing you lots of strength, and peace. Thanks again. ❤️

@Sasha Do you have any tips for not engaging

@cozycat I direct my attention on the body sensation that it’s causing. Without judgment I just observe the feeling. I just had a moment today where I read something that triggered me, and I want to go and compulsively do a google search; but instead I just focused on the discomfort. And I reminded myself, I’m not afraid of the answer, I’m resistant to the feeling.