I understand you can wire your brain into thinking things. I have had people on here and people in my actual life tell me that I need to rewrite my brain in order to get the results I want. I do know I don’t wanna leave my partner. I do hear voices saying I don’t love him or that I am not attracted to him. The feelings that come with it are strong. I still do things to show him I love him despite the difficulties that come. Like he’s very sick with a severe cold and I’ve been taking care of him by buying medicine and everything. We are moving soon and this is the first time my partner and I will be on our own without our roommates. I am worried about money and everything. I know my partner will do the right thing. He’s way better at saving than I am. That’s for sure. I am gonna look into a therapist. Bc I don’t think this will end without one now. I want to love my partner like before and I am not expecting anyone to give me answers on here or even advice. I just vent on here Bc going on Reddit has really messed up my brain badly. I have no romantic feelings whatsoever for him due to my depression. Haven’t been in the mood in months. We are both stressed out badly. Due to life throwing us curve balls. I am worried about things being taken away from me when if I can’t afford anything… worried about a lot of what ifs if something happens….

You have to challenge those what ifs! WHAT IF EVERYTHING WORKS OUT? WHAT IF NOTHING BAD HAPPENS? WHAT IF EVERYTHING WORKS OUT?

Hate the what ifs. Guess we gotta learn to live witch then.

When you are stressed/sad, it takes a toll on your relationship. You may not be thinking about it at the time, but it really does influence how you feel about everything. Give yourself a little compassion. ❤

But what if the relationship has issues? Some not a lot. But the issues are not helping my depression and he has anger issues which makes me unhappy when he does it. He’s been very depressed too. Like VERY… how can we work on issues when we are both very depressed and sad most of the time? I know it’s our living situation Bc we live with roommates in a tiny room for 600 dollars. Which goes towards other things.

I know I love him a lot. I really want my relationship to be happy again like before… I am even crying typing this… 😭

How can a relationship be saved from ROCD and depression!? Like I really don’t wanna end it but it feels like I don’t care anymore…..😢

My partner and I did have a small talk this morning. It started Bc I’ve been obsessing about my car making weird sounds and been obsessing about working too hard at my new job that I’ve only been too for like a month now. He told me out of everyone he knows I obsess non stop never relaxing and enjoying my time. He said I have very bad obsessive behavior that has developed very badly. Even my best friend who I talk about this with says that I have a very stubborn personality and that I continue to obsess about things making my own life difficult. They both basically tell me the samething all the time. My ocd has token over my life completely. When I lock my car for work I fiddle with every lock 6 times just to make sure it’s locked completely. I can’t even look at things positively anymore about anyone. Besides my partner’s anger problems he has a very funny personality that made me fall for him in the first place.