How would you describe ocd to someone? I’m just curious as I am sitting here trying to calm down after spiraling. I think (since Real event is my main theme and I would say my other themes are branches of it) I would describe it as doing something wrong, that you don’t agree with, that you know is against your personality, against yourself, and having that event or those words playing on replay everyday of your life

I don't really know if these will count as ocd 'proof' and I'm almost trying to prove to myself that I have ocd at this point. I really don't know. And these don't even mention my current themes (pocd, soocd) and rocd but its kind of stopping idk. So here's what I wrote do you think it's worth mentioning or it even counts as ocd idk? -Blinking in a certain way, breathing in a certain manner till it feels right, making sure that im breathing right, holding my breath for a bit again and again, made sounds that disturbed others (my mom) because of that. -Focusing too much on my eyesight and what i see to make sure I don't have symptoms of an Illness in the eye, checking my body reactions a lot and getting scared. Checking my pulse regularly for a heart attack. Fear of dying, researching random illnesses of symptoms I have -When i was a child I pictured my family dying a lot and got intrusive thoughts about their heads being cut off, especially in Eid El adha (where we basically sacrifice cows and sheep) I couldn't handle being there because I was scared that the guy killing the cow will accidentally cut my mom's head instead and I'd picture it so graphically. random intrusive thoughts about me doing harm to others but they didn't make me anxious just disturbed, fear that someone will get in the house and kill my whole family since I was a child that I have a slight fear of doorbells. Can be sensitive to gorey images but not always a persistent fear unless I'm focused on it. In the streets I get stressed out by cars around me because I get thoughts that someone will shoot me and kill me from the car. Fear of dying in general as a kid I saw a video that talked about if you see fish in your dream it means you'll die soon and I wasn't able to sleep for a long time without literally collapsing out of tiredness because I was scared of sleeping and dying in my sleep. -Irrational fears when I hear really loud sounds, as a kid I'd hear sounds of parties or so and it stresses me out because I got intrusive thoughts about someone playing party songs but killing everyone in the enjoyment of the killing. Doorbell sounds stress me out and I keep hearing the doorbell ringing in my ears a lot that I check the door randomly sometimes. -When I play games I have to do things a certain way and I can click on a button multiple times in a different pattern until it feels right, repeating prayers constantly until they feel right. Same with the breathing from before idk if these count -I question morals a lot, I'm not sure If it's in an ocd manner but I am really scared of being a bad person with bad morals, I get scared I'm racist and sometimes I see someone from a different race and I get racist thoughts like racial slurs or so get in my head, I question morals in general a lot and the idea of them and why they exist. And that makes me scared that I'm just a terrible person and I don't want to be. I can fixate on "trying to do what's right" too much that I end up messing up more -Immense guilt on things from a long time ago that I already dealt with. -what I'd say my worst compulsions are (pure o I think) : Checking constantly, feelings or thoughts or reactions. Sneaky reassurance seeking from friends and confessing my thoughts. Excessive ruminating trying to find an answer, can take so long out of my life that I can't eat or drink. Researching my thoughts and asking people. Repeating prayers in my head constantly even though I'm not religious anymore but I get so disturbed by my thoughts.

just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.

Hey everyone — I just want to say upfront that as someone who actively deals with real events OCD, most of the posts I share here are going to come straight from my personal experience. Just real & lived reality. Because I know how lonely this type of OCD can feel, and if there’s even one person out there who reads my words and feels less alone — then it’s worth sharing every piece of it. Now… let’s talk about the kind of OCD that doesn’t get enough attention. The kind that doesn’t just whisper scary things — it reminds you of real ones. Real Events OCD. This isn’t about bizarre or outta nowhere intrusive thoughts. This is the kind that takes real things you’ve done — whether it was a genuine mistake, a cringey moment, a bad decision, or even something you already made peace with — and it replays them on a loop like a horror film in your head. It’s the constant questioning: “Am I actually a good person?” “Was that actually wrong and I just didn’t realize it?” “What if I’ve hurt someone and don’t deserve to be okay?” And it’s exhausting. I’ve had moments where I can’t focus, can’t sleep, can’t breathe because my brain pulls up something from years ago and convinces me I’m evil, dangerous, unforgivable. I can be having a good day, laughing with people I love, and boom — my mind hits me with “Remember this? You should feel horrible about it forever.” Even if I’ve apologized. Even if I’ve changed. Even if I’ve done the work. Real Events OCD doesn’t care. It thrives off your guilt. It uses your conscience against you. And when you’re young — still figuring out who you are, still healing — it makes you question whether you even deserve to move forward. That’s what’s so cruel about it. It doesn’t just make you anxious. It makes you feel like you’re a danger to the people you love. That you’re secretly the villain in your own story. But let me tell you something I’ve been learning — slowly, painfully, but honestly.. You are not your past. You are not your worst mistake. And you are not the voice in your head trying to punish you forever. You’re a person with a heart. A person who cares. And that’s exactly why OCD picked this flavor to mess with you. ERP is SOO helping. So is community. But the biggest help? Giving myself permission to stop chasing reassurance and start living again. I do not have to confess, over and over, for the rest of my life. I do not have to torture myself to prove I’m good. I can grow — and growing is enough. So if you’re reading this and you know exactly what I’m talking about… I see you. I am you. Let’s keep showing up. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep healing — even when OCD tells us we don’t deserve to. You do. I do. We all do.