- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! I have experienced hiv anxiety as well! Also anxiety over pregnancy because I am a female. It is so frustrating and upsetting so I can definitely understand where your coming from. It’s tough but you can and will get through this! What helps me is realizing what I can and can not control. (I can control wether or not I can decide to use a condom, go on birth control, have sex, etc.) I also weigh out what is most important to me. Yes, it is important for me to not get HIV but my relationship with my partner is also important and sex is a large part of being in a relationship (atleast for some people). As a result, I have come to the conclusion that having sex is important for me and even though I am slightly scared of getting HIV I will take the precautions needed in order to have a fruitful relationship with my partner. I hope this helps!
- Date posted
- 3y
dude if you constantly obsess about it then you don’t have it people with hiv wouldn’t even think about constantly until they checked themselves up for it
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to have it very much but i did once exams and after this i calmed down
- Date posted
- 3y
I do something similar, just with herpes instead of aids… We’re not alone lol
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes we are not i think i used to had this thought due to a an anxiety disorder which is called health anxiety and not of OCD i am not actually sure
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
(Sorry for the long post!) So one of the OCD things that most affects me at times, and that I have not really found other people dealing with (in literature or in my work as a therapist working with people with OCD), is one that often relates to potential dating and people I am interested in. Typically, as a gay male, I meet people on chat apps or dating sites, so the first interactions are virtual. What I find often happens is that I sort of build an image of the person, and then if anything goes against that, I start to get anxious and the OCD kicks in. An example may work best. I started talking to a guy that I find incredibly attractive, and who seems to find me attractive as well, and when we became friends on instagram, I saw that he has done some amateur modeling for a friend who does pictures in various states of undress. There are a few in underwear, and a few with no clothes (no genitals are shown), and this started off the thoughts of "oh no, he must just want sex" or "I bet he is super promiscuous if he has pictures like these." This leads to me investigating the other photos on the site, and the guy who does the images to try and figure it out, what kind of work it is, etc. I even found a way to work it into a conversation with the guy, like "wow I don't think I could do that. You're braver than me," and he said he did it because the photographer is a husband of a coworker and expressed interest in doing the pictures, and he loves his body so didn't mind doing it, and they are really good friends now. OCD then gets triggered "he loves his body? That must mean he really IS promiscuous. What if he and the men also have threesomes?" This leads to intrusive thoughts of me having to picture this happening,or him having sex with other people, over and over until it "feels right." I'll recheck his dating profiles in which has said that he is "not into fast sex," and then think about and picture scenarios about how that could just mean he wants to talk to someone once before having sex. The OCD also affects conversations--if he doesn't get back to me quickly on WhatsApp, I scour the texts to see if I messed something up (ocd responsibility--it's always my fault). I texted him yesterday, and he hasn't looked at the messages (he has read receipts on WhatsApp), but I check and see that he has liked a post by someone on instagram or has posted a story, so I think "clearly he sees that I've messaged and is purposely ignoring it, because he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. That's it, I'm never going to hear from him again." We were supposed to hang out last week, but he asked to reschedule because he wasn't feeling well, so my OCD then said "he was at an event the night before, he probably met someone and is still at their house." He did text the next day to ask what my schedule was, and then said "perfect. I work in Lisbon until next Thursday" (I'm currently living in Porto, in Portugal, where he also lives), so he seems to be interested in hanging out, but then I think "he probably saw something that I did online or someone we both know in common somehow told him something and now he's done with me. Or maybe he met someone he's more interested in, and will just ignore me now." This type of experience has happened with several guys I've been interested in, and it has actually led to me pushing too hard and making them uncomfortable as I seek certainty, so I'm trying to be aware of that and not engage in that kind of behavior. I also realize that there are like a billion different OCD things in this post, and I'm writing another post as well related to how moral scrupulosity has been controlling my beliefs about sex, etc., something my new therapist identified after one session. Anyway, I just wanted to see if anyone has experienced anything along these lines, because when it happens it takes over and it is painful and I just want to rip it out of my head. Additionally, I never quite know how to manage exposure to this type of thing--there is the logical one of not checking social media, and not texting or re-reading texts, but it's also hard because I will actually force myself at times to think about him having sex with people, and then that makes me feel overwhelmed with anxiety, but I also can't suppress the thoughts, as that doesn't work, and am thus trying to do more of an ACT/acceptance approach. Unfortunately my therapist is out of town this week, so we can't work on anything surrounding this until next week. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I apologize that it is so long, but it is just really sucks right now.
- Date posted
- 20w
This fear keeps coming back and it’s to the point I cry and what to panic. I no longer talk to the man simply because I wanted to move on and find something meaningful to have with someone (relationship wise). I still keep fearing I need to go get my blood checked. Thoughts like “what if I have it and don’t know it and give to someone?” “What if that urine test I took months ago didn’t work” I got tested for stds but it came back negative. They took a urine test but google says you have to have your blood drawn!! I’m so scared. My mind tells me “you have HIV” and then a sense of peace comes and scares me even more!!!
- Date posted
- 14w
A few days ago, I posted how proud I am of myself, that I managed to go to the doctor to get a vaccination. Now, two days later, I find myself panicking and ruminating. It was a practice where they also test a lot for HIV and other blood diseases and in my mind, the needle/syringe they used for my vaccination was somehow contaminated with blood from another patient. Maybe by accident but sometimes my mind would make up a scenario where they would do it even on purpose. I was so proud of myself, that I managed to go there on Monday and now I am making up scenarios how I caught HIV by going there - I am feeling guilty because I was „careless“. Any tips for the moment? ❤️
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond