For my final exposure my therapist is gonna make me go to a gay club with my two gay best friends 🙃 The thought of a masc lesbian hitting on me and me liking it and wanting to be with them scares me so fucking much omg I feel like I’m a lesbian and I don’t feel attracted to men at all I feel disgusted by them on every level but i dont with women what is this

First of all, great job in being able to collaborate with your therapist and be willing to do such an intense exposure! Doing this exposure, especially if you can resist your rituals before/during/after, will send a significant message to the OCD that you are ready for recovery, that you're not playing OCDs game anymore, and that you're the pilot of the plane. With that said, I think ritual prevention will be super important here. Have a strategy going into it - we know going into this exposure that you are going to probably have some intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges, etc - and that OCD will be hammering you with intrusive questions that you feel the urge to answer. Try as hard as you can to not answer any of those questions. Be in it for the long term benefits and the long term recovery even though in the moment, during that exposure, it may feel really hard. We believe in you - good luck!!

i feel the same. I literally couldn’t sleep last night thinking ab how there’s no way im not lesbian :(