- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
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- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t know what to do anymore I genuinely have just given up
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@BradOCD Everyday it feels like my OCD is making me more okay with it
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- 3y ago
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- 3y ago
As in you believed you were gay? Did it feel like you wanted to be but also didn’t at the same time?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Bimmi Did you ever get scared or actually being yourself again? At the moment I feel like I’ve been this way so long it’s like I almost want it but don’t want it at the same time. I’m so confused. Like if someone could just come up to me and make me have my straight thoughts back I would say yes without a doubt, but it’s like it just doesn’t compute. Like today I read the definition of being biromantic and was almost like “hang on but I do find my girlfriend attractive and I do have romantic feelings for her” and I felt good then panicked and now it’s back to normal.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@BradOCD Brad, think back to a more simpler time, when you were a child of eight or ten years of age. You must’ve had a childhood crush on someone?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@7EMPES7 When I was little and even up until a few months ago I had crushes on so many girls. I used to love the excitement of going on dates and all of that. I was always quite nervous about sex but when I met my girlfriend she completely made me feel at ease and the first few months I felt like a new man. Then I started worrying about how much I was enjoying myself so would start checking to see if I enjoyed it and then obviously wouldn’t.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Was there any event in your life, that caused you to believe these thoughts. Harassment, bullying etc?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I believe the events that caused my OCD was my father leaving me when I was 6 and then having a very complicated relationship with my mother. The result was being brought up completely by my grandmother. What brought on this set of thoughts was actually me being so happy in my relationship and with my life as a whole and then all of a sudden I had three weeks apart (for holiday) from my gf and it just felt like my world shattered. And it all started from there with ROCD and then this lead to one day someone simply saying the word gay and the HOCD started I remember when it started I almost found it funny because it sounded so silly. Then like with everything I ruminated and ruminated till I found enough evidence to make me start believing it’s true
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y ago
ocd often wants you to be on one side of the fence or the other - regardless of the context or the situation. treatment requires you/encourages you to be right on the fence, right in the middle, not knowing one way or the other, not having 100% certainty one way or the other. and that's really uncomfortable but that's where we would encourage you to be okay being <3
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Some days I feel certain, but I just don’t like the answer. Then other days I feel certain about another answer. If it’s the answer I like then I almost start rejecting it by thinking about all the evidence
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@BradOCD You constantly doubt yourself, even when evidence proves otherwise...?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@7EMPES7 Yep! All the time. Even now
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- 3y ago
@BradOCD I once believed, that someone I had feelings for... came to see me and I had ignored them. I kept worrying that this had happened, until I managed to contact the person and ask them if it had happened. To which they confirmed it hadn’t. I was relieved.
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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