My sister who doesn’t have ocd believes that ocd could be a good thing it’s just that we suffer because we live in a modern society. I keep trying to argue with her but I’m not getting through. It just feels so invalidating, in any society or social system ocd would be the same because it’s our brain latching onto intrusive thoughts, creating an obsession and doing compulsions to neutralize distress. She really believes that the anxiety people with ocd experience is a “product of modern society’s rules”. 😑

Neurodivergent = My brain has changed/is different than a "normal" brain due to trauma, mental illness, damage, or disorder. Social model of disability= If we lived in a society designed for people with disabilities, those things wouldn't be disabilities any longer. And that's a good theory. If we taught ASL and braille in schools along with English, it'd be a lot easier for d/Deaf and blind people. If everything were designed for people in wheelchairs, others could still WALK, but it would be significantly easier to get around. If we accommodated epileptics, autistics, etc. in public spaces, allistics and non-epileptics would be just fine, and it would be significantly easier to go outside. Demarginalizing disabled people and building society around us instead of around ableds would enable many to be a lot happier, and would turn many physical and mental disorders and disabilities into differences only. And we should strive for that, absolutely. But NOT ALL NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE would be fine with just accommodation. ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and many others are differences that can't be "solved" by building things differently. They're just...there. Please tell your sister to do more research, as she's conflating two somewhat related but not interchangable things. And also please tell her that regardless of how much she researches, she's never going to know more about someone else's lived experience than the people who lived it.

@excalibre Thank you! This was explained perfectly

@excalibre She has adhd and believes that if we built a world designed for neurodivergent people she’d thrive , which I can understand it might help but she’s acting like my suffering only comes from societal opression and not the mental agony that ocd creates

@excalibre I also have ADHD and I am telling you she is wrong. There is no way society, even a perfect one, could fix...all this.

Yeah it makes no sense lol

Thank you! I don’t share my ocd with my family anymore for this reason. Their misunderstandings about this condition and the invalidating things they say cause me to spiral. But bc I don’t talk about it, it makes my issues more isolating. The same with my depression they understand it a little better, but still don’t fully grasp how it works or how much pain it causes me.

@Isabella I have a history of major depression as well. I had one that lasted 3 years. My mom thinks grief and depression are the same thing. Not even close. She also always used to tell me "You are choosing to feel this way." Who in their right mind would choose to feel that way? I offered her a chance to attend a class to learn more about mental illness and she refused. Fortunately, I have a couple friends I can talk to instead.

@Lms526 We went on a family vaction recently and I just couldn’t enjoy anything or get excited because of my depression/ocd acting up. It was so frustrating and my family couldn’t wrap their heads around why I was feeling that way, they just assumed I thought it was boring. I’m sorry your mom told you that you chose to feel this way, your right in saying that nobody would want to feel like this or have these issues and there isn’t an easy fix.