Hey is it getting more difficult thinking about the opposite sex for yall not asking for reassurance just wondering

Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think

What’s everyone’s experience with loss of attraction to their preferred gender? (Not looking for reassurance, and I know people say stop trying to get it back) When I see a good looking woman, I feel sad that I can’t get feelings like I use too. Like the very bottom of my stomach feels heavy like it’s depressed… I know I want to be attracted to woman but this SOOCD and false attraction is destroying me.

I feel that I’ve come on extremely well. I still can’t accept uncertainty. My attraction to the opposite gender (females) comes back but doesn’t last how it used to too. I feel that excitement, thoughts like “she’s well fit” then a horrible depressed feeling and those voices saying “but you don’t like females anymore…” The false attraction towards same gender (male) isn’t as bad as it was. It used to be every single male, old young, big, small, even voices, cartoons and so on. Now it’s a quick spike when I see a male followed by disgusted, I still pull a horrible face and I shake depending on how bad the thoughts/ feelings. This HOCD/SOOCD happened 14 years ago but not as severe as this time round. Then just went for 14 years. Has anyone been through the same and got through it??