Hey guys, I’ve been going through a really bad bout of Real Event, surrounding porn I used to watch as a kid and other gross stuff I’ve done, worst of which was when I was 12-14, I’m 19 now, and I’ve confessed everything to my family and best friend, they’ve all told me to let it go and to forgive myself. I was really anxious, but I’m happy they know it all now. I was talking to my mom more of my anxieties when all of a sudden, nothing felt real, I just talked to my mom and told her that I don’t feel real, and that it’s like I have amnesia, I don’t remember much of my past now, I’m also have false memory of watching things like cp, when I absolutely know I haven’t, my past feels so blurred. Even everything I did earlier today, I can’t remember to much, I feel really, really odd. It’s like I went blank. Has this happened to anyone? My life doesn’t feel real. I feel calm but on the edge at the same time, I felt like I wanted to pass out, but not anymore, I’m still just really confused. Please help.

Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD

Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT

I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?