Ok so this weekend is just the weekend of big exposures that are totally unplanned. 1st is taking antibiotics because I have an infection and I avoid all medications because I have really bad health anxiety (counterproductive I know) but I avoid taking all medication even if I’m in pain or need it. So this is going to be difficult. I have to start the medication tonight. The second big exposure is eating roast. Which doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is when you have really bad contamination ocd surrounding uncooked meat and the fear of being drugged. I’ve cut a lot out of my diet and developed an Ed. Recovery is really hard. For instance, I’ve avoided mushrooms bc of the fear of being drugged. The roast that is being prepared tonight was prepared with cream of mushroom and I’ve been so careful about avoiding anything without it in it (compulsions) eating it is going to be really hard and I’m really scared but I know I need to do it