- Username
- OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey, please don't end your life. This is not the solution. I know you must be going through a lot. But I promise you, things will definately get better. Everyone makes mistakes. We're all human. Please stay.
Thank you for this, I just feel really scared. My therapist doesn’t really do much, she talks and sends some breathing exercises help. She tries to be understanding and empathetic, but still, my OCD has flared up a lot since my brother died last year, I feel like he looks down on me and hates me
@IHateMyself You're welcome. I know it must be so so hard for you right and that you might be feeling very scared but please remember that things will absolutely hey better. Please try your best not to ruminate or do any kind of compulsions including ruminating, seeking reassurance, confession, etc The compulsions makes the OCD worse. I know, it's so so hard to stop doing the compulsions but please try your best to not do any compulsions. Also, I think this therapist isn't helping you and is making your OCD worse, I think you can search for a better therapist. What about a NOCD therapist? Also, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your brother loves you so much. He always will love you so much. Your brother absolutely doesn't look down on you and he absolutely doesn't hate you. Stay strong, buddy. ❤️
@itsAnna Things will absolutely get better*
@itsAnna I sadly don’t have insurance and the costs are really expensive, I really don’t know where to turn to
@itsAnna I think if this therapist isn't helping you and is making your OCD worse then you can search for a better therapist. What about a OCD therapist?*
@IHateMyself I'm sorry to hear that. I know they are expensive but please don't give up. Please remember that things will get better. Please stay. There is hope. Also, can you talk to your family about your OCD? Maybe they can help you find a better therapist?❤️ Also I'm sorry I don't know the meaning of insurance. English isn't my first language 😭
Please call the national suicide prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255 Or text the crisis text line 741741
People don't report posts from people seeking reassurance to be mean. They do because they know giving reassurance only makes things worse in the long run. Seeking reassurance is a compulsion. Yes, it relieves your anxiety short term, but it also increases the strength and number of your intrusive thoughts. It also makes your OCD worse. Suicide is not the answer. If you haven't already, please get a counselor that understands OCD and specializes in ERP. You don't have to keep letting OCD control your life. Recovery won't come quick or easy, but it is possible.
I don’t know how to take it, I’ve just done so many gross stuff as a kid, like I’ve never assaulted or done anything like that, but still gross, my mom says I was a kid and everyone does dumb stuff, and that I’ve learned, but I can’t. I don’t deserve the family I have, I hate myself so much, always have, but OCD has made me realize this so much more, I think it’s won
@IHateMyself It only wins if you quit and stop fighting.
I am sending you all my love. Please stay. Please don't end your life.
Please please, don’t do this. There were thoughts and things I didn’t think I would never get rid of, I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I know you’ve heard this 100 times, but it does get better. It really does, even on days you feel like you’re at you worse, it will get better. I didn’t believe that for a very long time, but now I do. You should definitely go see a different therapist, and the suicide hotline will help you as well.
I don’t care if everything you’re afraid of is true, I don’t care if you are the most horrible person, let’s say all your ocd is true, you deserve to be alive. You are a human being with a 1 in a 7 billion life, you are valuable at your worst just as you are valuable at your best. Right now you are in a lot of pain and that’s ok, give your self empathy and compassion and love. And please please remember there is nothing in life that you can’t overcome. Nothing.
Thank you, I’ve done a lot I regret, but I just want to be the best I can be now and move forward, so that I can be enough for my mom
Having someone to get better for us a blessing. And by getting better for them you will get better for yourself in return
Guys... I didn't know I would post again so soon. I'm extremely sorry but I can't stop crying and I think I'll explode from whatever I'm feeling. I thought I was a bit better especially with the kind help I received from my last post, which, again, I'm really thankful for. I was ready to go to bed when a memory from last summer resurfaced. It has always been at the back of my mind but I've always tried to ignore it by telling myself that I didn't do anything bad, but now it has resurfaced with full power. I don't think I'm ready to share it here because it's so disgusting but it's related to POCD. I think I will need to confess it to my therapist tomorrow when I see her but I'm so scared. I'm scared she will have me sent to jail. I'm not asking for advice. I just wanted to talk to someone because I feel so, so lonely. (But then, at the same time, I feel like I don't want to talk to anyone because of how bad it is; I'm sorry, I'm so weird.) I'm sorry, I don't know what to say anymore. And I know I sound so dramatic but I promise that's not my intention.
I hope someone's here for me. I'm at an extreme low. Passing thoughts of suicide exist. I don't think I'll act on it, I just don't know what to do. These past 5 months are enough for me to know what kind of person I am, and it's not good. My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. A lot of my friends are telling me I'm a narcissist and too rude with my humor. One of them advised that I should isolate myself from them until I learn to be a better person. Any joy I feel is undeserved. The shit I've seen because of this illness. There's things online that I think I've seen for a couple seconds that's genuinely incriminating. So why is there any compassion? Why am I here? Considering that back in July I'd look up bikini gifs on tenor to make sure I was straight, some of those gifs were tik toks. What if those people were underage? I can't bare this. My parents say there is nothing to worry about but they're liars. I don't wish this upon any other 15 year old. I am not a good person.
I don’t know if I’ll ever live a day without thinking about and feeling guilt about my real event. But I’ve accepted the fact that maybe I won’t ever will, and while that is quite daunting, I’ve struggled a lot during these past few months with just living and doing anything but lying in misery about it. I found it really hard to get out of bed to do anything, and I was just completely empty. While I haven't made huge progress now, I can attest that I've moved more than I did before, and that matters to me. I still don't feel great, and I actually will never be able to go back to a time when I wasn't plagued by this, but everything has led me to my present, and the way I deal with it is important regardless of whether I like it or not. There's no use moping over the past. So while my event and guilt won't be going anywhere, I'm trying not to put a pause on everything because of it. It's depressing at times knowing how I just have this one life on earth to do anything. So there's a lot of shame and guilt knowing how I've had this event in my life and that there's no way back to it to correct it. It makes me hopeless, but at the same time, it is also a driving force for wanting to be good, do better, and learn from my mistakes because, again, this is the only life I have here. So if I don't make a positive difference, then it's like I've done nothing better to right my mistakes and make a change from the past. It's one of the main things that I'm trying to stay steadfast about instead of falling into that hole of despair and nothingness. I hope everyone here, regardless of whatever they're suffering from, is able to be kind to themselves and hold on through their struggles. It's tough right now, but hopefully we can all get to a point where it won't be any longer. And most importantly, try to live in the present, as that is what serves you and what you have direct control over to make a change right now. Sending much love to everyone who's struggling and finding it hard right now ❤️🩹
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