- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
What are your obsession?
- Date posted
- 3y
I have a lot. That God is angry and disappointed with me. That I'm going to lose my salvation and end up in hell. That I have to keep certain rules like no drinking alcohol by myself (I am 45) No R rated movies, constantly feeling like I offend and hurt people's feelings. Even around people I can say pretty much anything I want to. I also worry constantly about committing the unforgivable sin and doubts about my salvation. I also feel a need to apologize. I also feel like I have to quote a particular verse several times and also praying in a repetitive, ritualistic manner or something bad will happen. I have also have had an image of God looking at me with a disapproving look on His face and arms crossed over His chest. I have dealt with this for many years.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 I'm sorry for the pain ocd causes you, scrupulosity is a terrible illness that we certainly didn't ask for, it's not a punishment from God, He doesn't punish us He loves us and cares for us, He may discipline us but never hurt us. How can you lose your salvation? Jesus died for us He already saved us, we cannot save ourselves. It's not a sin to drink alcohol, Jesus drank wine, everything in creation can be enjoyed with moderation, the unforgivable sin is to deny yourself God's mercy and forgiveness, trust in His mercy He knows about your ocd and He loves you, have you gone to confession recently or spoken to a spiritual director? Have you tried therapy? Prayer doesn't have to be painful nor exact, God hears your prayers and your heart, don't punishment yourself by making up rules for prayer, try short prayers, our imagination can create so many images and thoughts and catastrophic lies that may feel real but aren't, God most certainly isn't looking at you like that, He's looking at you with love and tenderness perhaps with his arms stretched towards you waiting for you to throw yourself in His arms for comfort, your image of God is distorted by ocd, it takes time of treatment to feel better and to recover the true image of God given to us by Jesus. The loving Father that He is. God cares for you, you are precious in His eye. Visit ScrupulousAnonymous.com God loves you
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! I already knew a lot of this...but definitely needed the reminder. Yes, I am in therapy. But the last few times I've tried doing an exposure, I don't get any anxiety. I have a session with my therapist on Thursday to discuss it.
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- 3y
Have you been able to change any of those obsessions?
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- 3y
No. I was focusing on Harm and Suicide OCD. But now, I want to start focusing on that.
- Date posted
- 3y
All ocd themes feel the same and are treated the same, once you learn how to manage it you can apply it to all your obsessions, seek spiritual direction too. Don't despair, give thanks to God for everything and offer Him your suffering for others who also suffer so that they don't or for any intention you want, or for His will. God bless
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey Lms526, I just wanted to say that I can relate to a lot of what you're going through, aside from the part about drinking alcohol (I don't drink alcohol). But I worry too about R rated movies or anything that has R rated themes. I also worry about committing sins or committing the unforgivable sin and losing my salvation, and my prayers feel very repetitive too, I don't feel like anything bad will happen if I don't pray for someone specifically, I just feel like I have to otherwise I don't care about someone enough by not taking the time to pray for them. I'm afraid a lot that God is disappointed in me too because of things I do or sins I commit, some things I'm not even sure or not if they are sins, my OCD just makes me question and obsess about if they're sins. I just wanted you to know you're not alone friend. I just started therapy with an NOCD therapist recently and I'm about to start ERP soon too. :) I pray that God will continue to help us both in our journey's as we continue to fight back against OCD. God bless Lms526. :)
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- 3y
@Drew777 Thank you. I appreciate that.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
I realize this may not work for everyone, particularly those who are struggling with moral or existential forms of OCD, but as someone struggling with relationship OCD, here’s my proposition and what’s worked- 1. ERP and resisting compulsions involves intentionally exposing yourself to distress and not trying to do anything about it, but just sit with it. It is a fundamentally ascetic and meditative practice. 2. Resisting compulsions also means overcoming your bodily desire (because more than anything OCD is a nervous system response, not a rational one) for relief from distress, and instead aligning yourself with a higher principle that overcomes your temporal state. 3. OCD also operates similarly to addiction, and recovery outcomes for addicts are significantly improved through belief in a higher power. Higher power is actually one of the core elements of AA programs because it makes self discipline a lot easier. 4. ERP/CBD is effective, in part, because it already fits within the psychology of someone with OCD. What I mean by this is that it involves homework, specific procedures done at regular intervals, intense self discipline, and is overall pretty formulaic/ritualistic/somatic in nature. And we know that it works, and this method of addressing OCD tends to really excite and appeal to those who suffer with it. We act like the totality of OCD psychology is bad, but it also seems to be the key to reversing OCD, and may be a kind of superpower when properly utilized. 5. We have countless religious traditions that are thousands and thousands of years old which have developed techniques and rituals precisely for what OCD recovery needs- Getting out of a reactive state, getting into a state of gratitude and meditation, developing ascetic skills to overcome temptation (compulsions), being okay with uncertainty, creating a place of inner peace and compassion, having a system of accountability and reminders which keep you from slipping back into compulsive patterns, and doing all of this in community with people who experience the same struggle. So far, religion has been *the most* helpful thing I’ve done for my OCD. Here’s how this has played out in my own life: -Hesychastic prayer. This is an Eastern Orthodox tradition where you project the Jesus prayer, in repetition, channeling it not just from the mind or mouth but from the heart. It is deeply psychosomatic, with the goal of creating ego death and achieving a state of seeing God in all things. It creates a calm, warm feeling in my chest that feels identical to a psychedelic afterglow. It takes me out of my head and into my body, and the first time I tried it, with a prayer candle lit beside me, I experienced very rapid relief and was able to sleep for the first time without having any nightmares. I now do this consistently, along with other kinds of prayer and hymn recitation, and gratitude before meals, and it’s something I genuinely enjoy and look forward to. Since doing it, my compulsions have gone done by like 70%. Every time I feel myself slipping into compulsions, instead of doing them, I pause and pray. Prayer fills me with warmth, gratitude, and comfort. I feel connected to something greater than myself, my body becomes calm, my heart stops racing, and afterwards, I no longer feel compelled to perform my compulsions, because I know that it is harmful to myself and those around me, and that God is watching over me guiding me to act in a more thoughtful and wise way. This has single-handedly brought me more long term relief than any other OCD technique or treatment has. Not only has it relieved my OCD, but I have so much more energy, motivation, and self discipline in other areas of my life. It’s like I can feel my neurochemistry balance itself in real time. I’m eating healthier, my relationships are richer, I’m a better student, I feel more creatively inspired, and I have so much more self discipline to resist habits that are bad for me. I hope this may be helpful to anyone else who might be struggling. I’ve searched online and there’s really no information out there that I could find on religious ritual being an effective OCD treatment, but it’s been completely revolutionary in my life.
- Date posted
- 15w
Can anyone share their experiences with Religious OCD and how you came to realize it was OCD thoughts and not a true spiritual experience. Thank you
- Date posted
- 11w
Please share your experiences with ocd lying to you? Please share anything, thank you.
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