Can HOCD make you want to think about the thoughts? Because sometimes I feel like I want to think about it but I’m just not letting myself out of denial.

Yes it can

It makes me think about a scenario, then I think that scenario- I feel no anxiety- hence, the thought gets stuck as to why I don’t feel anxiety but I feel sick after. It makes me feel like I want that thought, like it’s ‘natural’ for me even tho it feels like stale to me fr.

Me too. It’s like when I actually try and think about it I feel ill but the idea of it my brain is still telling my I like?

@BradOCD Ikr, then it’s just a repetitive process. I just get tired of doing it but sometimes later- it appears again.

@Acrasia It’s like I simply cannot picture it. But that’s just not enough for me. And does it sound weird to say I ‘feel gay’ like everything I do has to do with sexuality now. Its exhausting

@BradOCD It does picture for me tho, which makes it feel so real like I’m watching a movie. And yea- I can relate with making everything as sexuality now. I spiral more when it’s bi (cause that’s what my ocd is focused on) rather than gay. I can’t watch a show or movie normally without getting thoughts to a character like “she gives me bi vibes” or “I’d date her”. And it’s not only limited to that- even to every woman I see 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Acrasia Yeah when I’m going about my day I constantly analyise who I’m attracted to and who I’m not. I can picture the romantic side, but the sexual side just seems unthinkable. But it feels like I want it I’m not sure anymore tbf what I want. I feel like I’m just in the closet.

@BradOCD Same here, this isn’t who I was before :/

Sometimes when we aren’t responding to a thought with our typical levels of distress and anxiety, OCD wants us to do a compulsion to “prove” we don’t like that thought. This might be avoidance of the thought or even things like self-punishment. Instead, we can practice sitting with the thought, even if it brings us feelings of desire.