I feel so normal now. I had a thought and it was like “I don’t want to be with him” and I felt really peaceful Bc of the music playing but then I got a little anxiety like my stomach turned and I’m trying to say “no I don’t” and now I just feel uneasy. Like when I said no I don’t it sounded like a lie. Not having anxiety with my thoughts makes it all seem so real

I don’t want it to be true but I’ve started to think about it like it is

I completely understand this. The way I looked at it was because I felt peaceful about it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be with him I was peaceful because my brain thought that was the solution to being peaceful. I dont want to break up with him I want to break up with the thoughts

It’s ok that you felt peaceful. Don’t try to fight your scary thoughts. Just because you’re relaxed when you have them doesn’t mean that they’re true. You’re completely fine!

Okay. Because my cousin (who is overly protective of me) keeps pointing out everything bad about him, and I won’t lie he has a grumpy streak (nothing abusive or anything like that) but Is just comfortable enough to kind of let out his grumpiness around me, and she keeps saying he doesn’t respect me. So I’ve been really over analyzing that and feeling like I should be more upset about it

@cozycat I’m sorry they put you in that position. And I can see why that makes you think you should analyze things more. But you don’t. Over analyzing things doesn’t do any good and only makes you feel bad. Practice relaxing and not paying much attention to your worries. You’re awesome and you deserve to not be so hard on yourself!

@BlueMountain She says he criticizes me a lot and I don’t see that he does it often. He does occasionally but I also criticize him sometimes idk

@cozycat No one needs to tell you how to feel or what your relationships should be. It sounds like you and your cousin have a healthy relationship, even if he is a little overprotective. You don’t need to let other people make your ocd worse.

@BlueMountain Because now I am just focused on that stuff. And like of course our relationship has problems as every single one does but in the midst of ocd I really don’t need other things to focus on. Both my partner and I are very open about our feelings and needs

@cozycat It’s ok to be open. And don’t worry, If you practice acceptaning uncertainty you’ll start to feel your anxiety lessen. But remember that other people shouldn’t control your feelings. I think it’s good that you have a lot of people who care about you. Just make sure they don’t make you more anxious than not.

i think feeling peaceful during these thoughts means growth! you're doing the good work, and the thoughts aren't hurting you as much.