Does anybody else’s HOCD feel like this?
So, ‘LGBT+’ is an incredibly popular topic within media. I’m constantly stumbling across posts, articles, videos, news where people talk about their experience with identifying by any one of the letters.
It feels like all I ever hear is someone coming out as gay, lesbian, bi, etc. This made me wonder (if this is really so common) Am I maybe bi or lesbian. I am fairly certain that I’m straight, but the idea that sexuality is a spectrum presents so much uncertainty for me - I want to know EXACTLY where I sit on that spectrum. As someone who exclusively is attracted and wants to date guys, it follows that I’d be heterosexual… but, then I start to think, ‘well what if I’m repressing homosexuality’, because that’s a pretty common thing… ‘what’s to say that’s not me?’ I think to myself, ‘if it’s something subconscious I’m too young to recognise (17), then surely only time will tell if I’m a lesbian’… but I want to know with absolute conviction that I am one or the other or in between RIGHT this minute, or I’m swilling in a glass of confusion and anxiety.
… I don’t know whether any of that made sense, but hopefully this resonated with at least one person going through HOCD/SO-OCD. If so, please comment so we can chat!