Hey everyone. I’m feeling really down today. I got off of my medication because I couldn’t really handle the side effects, but as expected my anxiety levels are back and I’m Pmsing on top of it. I feel defeated today, and for those of you who have gone through this theme I would really appreciate words of encouragement. I don’t often feel bad for myself but today im just upset that the reality is that I have to deal with a mental disorder for which there is no cure and causes deep emotional distress for dangers that may or may even happen. It’s hard to go to school and constantly be thinking about my orientation when I do have to pay attention to class or at the very least my friends who don’t know what I have to deal with everyday in my mind. Anyways i would really like to hear from someone

Thank you to both of you for responding. I was on the medication for six months ans it worked really well but I had an allergic reaction to it that caused hives and itching. Ans thank you for saying I have friends here. Im just so worried that I prefer women. My ocd has morphed from fearing I am a lesbian to fearing that I am bisexual but would like women better and would be satisfied with them. There is nothing wrong with that at all but I continue to ruminate on having sex with a women and compare if the two exc. it makes me feel like a pervert because imagine scenarios and check my attraction with EVERYONE. I have a boyfriend that I adore and even there my mind tries to play games with me. I don’t know what to do today.

@Legallyocd I think you are me!!! I don’t want to lose my fiancé. My mind always says- what if you’d enjoy it more with a female. The arousal is what gets me stuck. I want you to take a step back and realize that ocd latches on to what we care about the most. You clearly love your boyfriend and do not want to be without him so of course ocd takes that and runs like the bully it is.

@OCD33 Easier said than done but say “there is no problem for me to solve but thanks”

@OCD33 Thank you girl ! You don’t know how helpful that is. That’s the other thing like who do you talk to about these things. I don’t want to tell my friends because I fear that they will think I’m in denial even though I do have a couple that know. But what kind of sucks is that the advice you get is well you need to experiment ans you need to explore exc. which is fine I really don’t mind exploring or trying that out it’s more so that my mind has this intense sense of urgency that it needs to know now where as before I paid little to no attention to that. I never felt the need to go out and find a girl. More so it was like if it happens that’s cool I’ll get this curiosity out of the way but not this overanalyzation. It’s sooooo fristrating