- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so sorry you are having a bad day. You are stronger than your thoughts though. Remember to take time for yourself and some self-care. It’s not easy fighting against your mind 24/7. Just remember it can’t stay this bad forever. It has to come down. Try to disengage by focusing on your senses or playing a game. OCD knows exactly what to do to upset you. It’s a bully. We don’t engage with bullies. You can do this!
1. You are NOT alone. Been a battle for 12 years for me. I know how you feel. People like us are making the world more aware and others come out and tell their stories to doctors. 2. How long did you try the medications? Did you try multiple? 3. You have friends here
Thank you to both of you for responding. I was on the medication for six months ans it worked really well but I had an allergic reaction to it that caused hives and itching. Ans thank you for saying I have friends here. Im just so worried that I prefer women. My ocd has morphed from fearing I am a lesbian to fearing that I am bisexual but would like women better and would be satisfied with them. There is nothing wrong with that at all but I continue to ruminate on having sex with a women and compare if the two exc. it makes me feel like a pervert because imagine scenarios and check my attraction with EVERYONE. I have a boyfriend that I adore and even there my mind tries to play games with me. I don’t know what to do today.
@Legallyocd I think you are me!!! I don’t want to lose my fiancé. My mind always says- what if you’d enjoy it more with a female. The arousal is what gets me stuck. I want you to take a step back and realize that ocd latches on to what we care about the most. You clearly love your boyfriend and do not want to be without him so of course ocd takes that and runs like the bully it is.
@OCD33 Easier said than done but say “there is no problem for me to solve but thanks”
@OCD33 Thank you girl ! You don’t know how helpful that is. That’s the other thing like who do you talk to about these things. I don’t want to tell my friends because I fear that they will think I’m in denial even though I do have a couple that know. But what kind of sucks is that the advice you get is well you need to experiment ans you need to explore exc. which is fine I really don’t mind exploring or trying that out it’s more so that my mind has this intense sense of urgency that it needs to know now where as before I paid little to no attention to that. I never felt the need to go out and find a girl. More so it was like if it happens that’s cool I’ll get this curiosity out of the way but not this overanalyzation. It’s sooooo fristrating
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭
I started medication and therapy I statted medication approximately two months ago and I m getting worse . I just can t focus on studying I forgot what I did and this didnt happen before my brain didnt stop even in my sleep I just feel exhausted I lost my belief to recover and I dont know what to do I just feel like I shouldnt have statted take medication because It just helo my depression a little but on contrary It makes my anciety much worse and totally I feel much worse I just dont know what to do my life is miserable I feel like no one could help me anymore If you read this could you response me? I just feel like no pne really gets me and my religious ocd hits me very badly
i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing
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