I recently had pregnancy anxiety which lead to what if I don’t actually want to have kids with my partner. I think I do or I really hope I do , but I think there’s a lot I want to work through by myself and as a couple first and also we’re just too young and have our own issues to work through before we have kids. So of course my mind questions if I actually want kids with him

Thank you this helped a lot! 🤍

Yes exactly! I’m sorry you’re facing this as well but it’s good to know we’re not alone. I hope we can slowly recover

First off, congratulations on your engagement! The wedding actually caused my ROCD to spike so bad I think. I didn’t have intrusive thoughts about my husband until about a month before the wedding! I have only felt with some Harm OCD in the past. ROCD is 10x worse than my harm OCD ever was... I was debilitated…I had invited a co worker to the wedding and as soon as the envelope left my hands and went into his, my brain convinced me that I would be more concerned with how he saw me in my wedding dress that day and not my husband…This INSTANTLY flipped my world upside down. I had never seen this co worker that way at all so I was very confused and instantly thrown into the ROCD cycle. I ended up on medication because I wasn’t eating or sleeping. I couldn’t even leave the house! Almost lost my job. I was suddenly thinking “why am I not attracted to my fiancé anymore?” “I just suddenly don’t love him anymore.” “I can’t marry him feeling this way.” It was SO painful because I knew in my heart it wasn’t true! I finally got in with a NOCD therapist and started ERP. ERP and medication together I think are what pulled me out of the depression. I still have anxiety and the thoughts and im working through them still. I was SO close to calling off my wedding and it hurt me so bad because I know it’s all I ever wanted with HIM. I can say that I had little to no intrusive thoughts in my wedding day and honeymoon!! They did some back hard when we got back and life went back to normal. I’m motivated to hold on to what I remember feeling before OCD tried to sabotage my happiness. I do feel a bit of false memory now. Having to do a lot of ERP around possibly NOT having a good time at the wedding when I know I did. I would take full advantage of the time you have from now until the wedding to submerge yourself in ERP! I swear that is what pulled me out if my head enough to be able to enjoy my wedding. Be very careful not to avoid things that make you uncomfortable. I didn’t even want to talk about the wedding. I started purposely bringing it up and making myself talk about it and my future. It’s hard but so, so necessary!

Also, GOOD going saying yes to marrying your fiancé! OCD wants you to stop your life for it. I bought a house with my fiancé and married him all in the same week. My OCD was SCREAMING! Think of it like your ocd throwing a fit because you’re not letting it win