I recently had pregnancy anxiety which lead to what if I don’t actually want to have kids with my partner. I think I do or I really hope I do , but I think there’s a lot I want to work through by myself and as a couple first and also we’re just too young and have our own issues to work through before we have kids. So of course my mind questions if I actually want kids with him

Does anyone else worry and obsess over whether they desire companionship w their partner or if they actually love them? This is a fairly new obsession for me and before this I was so sure and willing to move toward, but now with this I’m feeling like this is my truth.. that I just want companionship with him and I’m not actually in love with him :( and this hurts man I don’t want just companionship I want him for him and I want to grow with him and have a deep meaningful relationship but the feelings ocd gives me feels like that’s a lie and I don’t actually love him deeply, but it’s so weird because I don’t experience that feeling of knowing deep down that it’s true the way I do with soocd. With soocd now I know deep down being with a woman isn’t what I want, and I don’t feel that certainty now with feeling like I don’t love my bf, but it feels like there’s no other option and all this trouble I’m going through to be happy with him is proof I don’t love him

My girlfriend and I are both applying to grad schools and have no idea what’s going to happen next with our lives but I am seeing couple getting engaged and moving in and I am so freaked out I feel like I should want those things and I do but like not now? But is that bad to not want them now I’m scared it will never actually be the right time or that maybe I am with the wrong person but I don’t believe in wrong person and I love my partner so much I don’t want to feel this uncertainty but that is what my ocd wants :// any tips y’all?

I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔