Magzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
I can’t live with that. If it’s true I deserve to go. I don’t want it to be true. I just want the pain to go away and it isn’t
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
Unfortunately this is still about the stuff we’ve talked about. It’s still bothering me. Maybe I’m ruminating and making a big deal out of it but it felt so real I’m telling you something isn’t right
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup You know I keep telling myself that if I was an actual monster, I wouldn’t be so upset like I am right now. But then I keep thinking I’m in denial and it’s so scary. I appreciate what you are saying and I wish I could believe it but my mind won’t let me. The other night it legit felt like for a split second it felt real. It was like my body “lit up” or I felt some weird physical sensation to an intrusive image about my poor niece who I love very much and would literally do anything to keep her safe from harm. She visited a few weeks ago and I didn’t have this problem then. Yeah a few intrusive thoughts here and there but not this. But because I was an idiot and read a stupid steamy romance story, I got triggered and it caused a stupid intrusive thought about her and it felt so real like my whole body felt weird I don’t even know how to explain it. I wish I could just go back and never read that stupid story because then it would of never happened. I remember when I was younger and didn’t have pocd I helped her with bath time and would be around her without any problems and now I feel like I’ve turned into this creepy monster! I don’t even want to be in my own skin. I would rather go through a break up or get ran over by a car than this crap
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup Ok maybe not get hit by a car but you get my point
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup But it can’t be possible. I refuse to let it be true. I’m pretty certain that this stems from childhood trauma but anyways I’m not attracted to children. End of story
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup What do you mean?
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 3y
@Dialup I know deep down with all my heart I’m not but unfortunately OCD doesn’t like that anyways and tries to convince me otherwise but I just try to latch on to hope that I’m not a monster
Related posts
eugeniodepalo
- Date posted
- 24w
Double standards for certainty?
Do you ever feel like people without OCD have an easy time just saying “you need to accept uncertainty” only because they’re not subject to the same level of fear and anxiety as an OCD sufferer would? I feel like they don’t really accept uncertainty, they’re just naturally more certain about things. For example, if you ask anyone whether they think their loved ones are real or not, they will never answer with “maybe, but I’ll never know for sure”. They’ll just say “of course they are”. Isn’t that what certainty is? For me, as I’ve been suffering from existential OCD most of my adult life, such a question absolutely terrifies me. The mere thought of my loved ones and the world not being real sends me into a spiral of anxiety and depression and never ending certainty-seeking behavior. I just can’t stand the thought of that horrible scenario being true. How can one accept uncertainty about such a thought, when it completely undermines all my values and beliefs and world view? Can non-OCD sufferers really accept those nighmarish scenarios? Am I misunderstanding what ERP and therapy is about?
Anonymoususe...
- Date posted
- 18w
I physically can’t accept uncertainty
I don’t know how to stop this, but I feel like I physically can’t accept uncertainty about my obsession. I’m having an obsession over prayers. It’s led me to worry about praying for an inappropriate fleeting desire. Me being suicidal has led to my brain using that against me to come up with things I could pray for, like a meteor strike while I’m sleeping (because I would die, so it’s something I really wouldn’t mind). The issue, is earlier today, I might have prayed for it, but I don’t remember if I did. Most people will say it’s intrusive thoughts. It might be, but if I did it in the way I think, I’m not sure that’s the case. But I can’t remember if I did it, and I feel like I literally physically cannot accept uncertainty, no matter how hard I try
Lost in the ...
- Date posted
- 13w
Comphet
Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) I’m remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond