- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s like the feeling became apart of me now… I knew it was ROCD in the beginning and it was difficult but I was still able to make love to my partner still… but the more I got depressed I felt myself drifting away from him… trust me when I say I loved to touch my partner cuddle and give long hugs. That was my favorite partner of the day was the long hugs. ❤️ but since we’ve both been depressed we haven’t been doing that much as of lately…
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s like I want to break up… my mental state is so bad I just let the thoughts come… I am just so tired…
- Date posted
- 3y
My friend asked does he give enough love? Lately it’s difficult bc we are both seriously depressed. How can people show love when they are both deeply depressed
- Date posted
- 3y
i am in a long term relationship. it is normal for people to go through periods where romance is on the back burner. it doesn't mean you love each other less. it's a normal phase everyone goes through for one reason or another. i think it would be comforting to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend about how you're feeling. and i am sure your boyfriend would also like to talk through what he's going through. having this conversation i feel is not seeking reassurance over your OCD, but it is necessary to discuss things like this between you and your partner. your friend doesn't seem to be helping you in this situation.
- Date posted
- 3y
We have talked about it. We’re both very stressed bc we have to move out of our roommates home by January and it’s causing us to freak out badly. This is a first for us to be like this in the 11 years we’ve been together. I try to avoid talking to my friend bc of house super critical she can be. I’ve been deeply depressed for over a year bc of a conversation my partner had with me over a year ago. He told me that he opened Pandora’s box from that conversation and knows how bad mental state has gotten. I told him everything that I’ve been feeling and how I don’t feel like things are the same anymore since that conversation. How I am basically in a losing battle with my depression that I had thoughts of suicide. I told him that he’s the only person I’ve ever had ROCD with and how I wish I had a normal mindset. I told him how much I hate myself everyday. He said he hasn’t liked himself either with his depression. I’m scared of moving, I’m scared of change in general even though I know it needs to happen. I told him how I’ve been even doubting his love for me bc he feels like a stranger to me right now.. it’s torture for me.. He told me if he didn’t love me he wouldn’t be with me at all. He said that he’s not willing to walk away from our relationship. I’ve told him that I don’t even have a sex drive bc I’m that deeply depressed… I even talked about my uncle who passed away recently how I lost the only father figure I’ve ever had in my life since my real father was in and out of my life. I told him how during the funeral I didn’t cry once and it made me feel heartless.. how I didn’t even panic about my own mother’s health problems. I felt no love for anyone and even saying it feels fake. My mind is completely warped from my obsessive beahavior. I even asked why he loves me and he told me out of everyone in his life I am the only person who never gave up on him and who has faith in him.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 15w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 13w
feel like I’ve been stuck in this ROCD cycle for so long that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Everything feels so heavy and confusing. I keep having thoughts like “I don’t love him,” “I never really did,” “I’m just used to him,” or “I’m staying out of guilt or fear.” They come with a strong emotional pull that makes it feel like I’m finally facing some ‘truth’ — but I don’t even know what that truth is. Even when things are going well with my boyfriend — when he’s loving, caring, affectionate — I still feel disconnected, like I can’t feel love or calmness. And then I feel guilty for not feeling what I think I should feel. I overthink everything: memories, how I used to feel, how I feel now, what I might feel tomorrow. I can’t tell if I’m just scared to lose him or if I’m trying to force something that isn’t there. I’ve read so much about ROCD and I know I’m supposed to sit with the thoughts and let them pass, but sometimes they feel so real that I don’t know how to keep going. Sometimes I even feel numb and that scares me too — like if I don’t react with panic, it must be true. I just want peace. I want clarity. I want to stop analyzing and doubting every moment. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you sit with this and not spiral? Thank you so much for reading. 💔
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