I wish I could help you more. But all I can say is I have been at this exact stage- I’m not sure what stage I am at now. But I’ve used all these words and had all these fears
It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed and stuck. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of rumination that focuses on an urgent need-to-know (A trademark of OCD), see if you can practice labeling the emotions you are experiencing instead. It’s completely valid to feel overwhelmed and tired of dealing with the OCD. Luckily you are in the right place! Practicing those small exposures and small things that help with your OCD can make things feel just a little bit less heavy. You are able to sit through the distress!