Hey Christians! I’m currently listening to Christian music when honestly I’ve been so distant from God. I feel like I’ve let God down and I’ve been so angry because of what I’m going through. I don’t know if this is just OCD or what but while I was listening to music, my mind is trying to convince me that God is saving me from being a p or something like that. What the heck! I’m hoping that that’s just an intrusive thought. I pray to God I never have been or never will be a horrible monster. I have goals in life. Plans for my future and I feel like this theme is going to ruin that for me. I tell myself the enemy is a liar but yeah that makes me feel like I’m lying to myself to so I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to read my bible or worship because I feel like everything gets worse when I do that stuff or even pray. The more I get close to God the more downhill everything seems to go. It’s weird! I love God I do but I’ve prayed and prayed for a miracle and I feel voiceless or hopeless at this point. I feel like I’m shut out or God doesn’t hear me. I don’t know if anyone related but if you do or understand please just send a little prayer. I’m losing hope 💔

I currently have chronic fatigue syndrome partly from rocd, that relationship is over so it’s gone. But to get better from this I have to not worry. Anxiety is a big part of CFS for everyone. During this time I got very close to God, but lately I’ll feel He’s gone. Before that I’ve been speaking w Christian healing ministry and they basically told me most things are occult. All music, Hollywood, martial arts(I love martial arts) and paying attention to any of it is inviting demons. Also 8% of Christian’s are going to heaven due to multiple ( and his personally) near death experiences. I feel I’m seeking out therapy and coaching to heal from CFS and I feel God is completely gone. I can’t pray. I feel as though I’m going against his will and not sticking with the healing ministry and taking it into my own hands. Just in fear and don’t know which way to turn

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....