After getting more acclimated to hocd thoughts, I started to fear that I have schizophrenia. I’ve been meditating a lot and have been mindful and in a really good headspace. I’ve been able to take a step back and recognize that this is just another topic of my ocd, and instead of reacting in fear and ruminating/what if-Ing everything, I’ve been able to just shrug off my intrusive thoughts and just live alongside them. Almost all day long yesterday I had the repetitive thought “schizophrenia” just popping into my head over and over. With other intrusive thoughts, I feel the fear attached to the thought, and immediately start asking “what if?” And ruminating about it until I work myself up into a huge mess and start googling for reassurance. Although annoying, I’ve been able to step back and just live with the intrusive thoughts this time, not ignoring them, but recognizing them and noting them as what they are, shrugging them off, and going on with my daily life. Eventually, I notice that they have stopped for a while. At some point, they inevitably come back, but the sting and the fear is becoming less and less. Sorry for the novel guys, but today I feel strong, and today I choose to excel and fight my ocd. We all have the strength to overcome this. We can do it. And we deserve the better life that we are working towards daily.

I hope everyone is doing well today, and for those of you who are struggling my thoughts and prayers are with you. Just know your moment of peace is coming soon. I think it’s important that we post / come on here every now and again even when we are not in a moment of pure panic and fear. Remember that we are not our thoughts as hard as it is to understand. Remember that OCD makes it feel “real” and that OCD will always make us think the most inappropriate things and the most inappropriate times. Remember that all humans, have thoughts that come and go and as hard as it can be to understand you are not alone in your thoughts that feel so unique. For me I get a lot of anxiety from thoughts I used to have , which of course makes them return in full throttle. The more I push them away the more they come back. And those thought makes new connections to those things in my life I value. OCD is a pain but it’s important that as much as you hate it you learn to be compassionate and understanding that it’s there to “help” you no matter how bad it does it job sometimes. Stay strong everyone

Every day living is a win against OCD! Don’t let up, it’s gonna hurt like hell, but we’ll come out of this stronger than ever! Practice your uncertainty, welcome those nasty thoughts, no matter how horrible or taboo, look at them straight up and laugh! This is not our reality, we choose our own paths! Life was never meant to be serious! There’s no such thing as a serious sunrise, serious tree, or serious bird! Laugh and love, learn to forgive yourself, it’s beautiful once you come out on the other side for once!

I’m sure it’s been a rough few days for everyone, maybe even weeks or months. Hell, this last YEAR has been up and down for me! But I wanted to take this moment to congratulate everyone for coming this far. It’s no small feat! OCD is a killer, and it’s good at its job! The fact that all of you are still here fighting is a testament to how strong you are! We may not have the answers or explanation to everything, and that’s okay. We have to stay in the present, not the past or the future. Remember to practice being uncertain! It’s hard to remember the good days we’ve had despite all these horrible ones! There’s no scar to show for happiness, but we’ve got plenty to show for misery and pain. Keep hanging on, you’ve got this!