After getting more acclimated to hocd thoughts, I started to fear that I have schizophrenia. I’ve been meditating a lot and have been mindful and in a really good headspace. I’ve been able to take a step back and recognize that this is just another topic of my ocd, and instead of reacting in fear and ruminating/what if-Ing everything, I’ve been able to just shrug off my intrusive thoughts and just live alongside them. Almost all day long yesterday I had the repetitive thought “schizophrenia” just popping into my head over and over. With other intrusive thoughts, I feel the fear attached to the thought, and immediately start asking “what if?” And ruminating about it until I work myself up into a huge mess and start googling for reassurance. Although annoying, I’ve been able to step back and just live with the intrusive thoughts this time, not ignoring them, but recognizing them and noting them as what they are, shrugging them off, and going on with my daily life. Eventually, I notice that they have stopped for a while. At some point, they inevitably come back, but the sting and the fear is becoming less and less. Sorry for the novel guys, but today I feel strong, and today I choose to excel and fight my ocd. We all have the strength to overcome this. We can do it. And we deserve the better life that we are working towards daily.

I am currently obsessing about schizophrenia and its sucks.. the word "schizo" just repeats in my head over and over again, then I'm getting false memories attached to the fear of having schizophrenia.. I keep checking my symptoms and convincing myself that I have those symptoms, and that all of my doctors must be wrong about the bipolar I and OCD, It just has to be schizophrenia.. I'm so exhausted and I want to put my head through a brick wall at this point.

You’ve got this! Keep your head up! We’re all in this together. Something that I realized today was that if I had these ocd issues my whole life, I’d find a way to live with it, and life would go on. There would still be great moments and experiences all the time. That’s the worst case scenario, and I can deal with that. Chances are, it’ll be much better than that. Stay mindful too and practice mindfulness to keep a strong foundation every day. You can do this!

I actually went through the exact same thing! I was scared that my intrusive thoughts were meaning I was, or was going to become schizophrenic. Even, Seeing the word used to put the scare in me. Although I have moments here and there, I definitely feel confident enough to say I moved past it. Thank you for sharing your story because now I don’t feel alone, and I’m glad you feel strong because you are, and that goes for all of us :)

Thanks guys! It’s really nice to not feel alone in all this. Every day is a struggle and every day is worth it.

Awesome, keep up the good work!

Good stuff! <3