GUILT Hey everyone, first of all, My ROCD journey stemmed almost two years ago from my previous relationship with my ex. In the end, she cheated on me and left me for someone else. In January, I got into a new relationship ship with my amazing girlfriend. I literally can’t describe how much I love this girl. She literally does everything to make me happy. We have the best bond and relationship ever which obviously OCD loves to destroy. Lately I’ve been dealing with the obsession of “wanting others” feeling. So basically this is where my mind latches onto other girls and convinces me I want/ would rather be with them instead of my girlfriend with no actual reason given. It doesn’t matter how ugly or how unlikely that chance could even be it will literally give me the feeling of wanting another girl. Unfortunately, it has latched onto my ex who bare in mind I hate the guts of which obviously makes it a bit more difficult as I’ve been fighting against the feelings even more than other girls because I know what type of person she is obviously because I had a past with her and she showed me her true colours. OCD is now making me feel guilty and trying to blame me for why she cheated. It could literally be the tiniest things. She cheated on her other ex partner who she was in a relationship for 5 years with him so I know that’s bullshit. Then it goes to “yeah well she never cheated until she met you” so tries convincing me it’s my problem instead of hers. Anyways, the other day I was on tiktok and noticed when I was seeing my current girlfriend before we made it official that I had liked some other girls tiktoks which is making me feel super guilty because for some reason I don’t do it anymore and would find it an issue if I did but why didn’t I back then. This is making me feel like a cheater and like my ex girlfriend and is giving me thoughts like we must be compatible if we both cheat even though I didn’t even realise at the time I was liking other girls tiktoks until now and is giving me false memory OCD making me believe I liked it for other girls to talk to me. I was also talking to another girl before I met my girlfriend on tinder who bare in mind I had never met nor dated just talked and she found out I was talking to other girls and went mad at me so it’s making me believe that I’m sort of cheater and is making me feel guilty for it. Please help all I want is to spend the rest of my life with my amazing girlfriend without having OCD and being manipulated into getting back with my ex when I prefer my current girlfriend who treats me right. It makes me feel like I’m a cheater or that I will cheat on my girlfriend which I believe is totally wrong and then it says you didn’t think it was wrong to like other girls tiktoks when you first started seeing her

Relationship OCD

ConnorSchep

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

Hey brother, I feel this sort of thing man. You are not alone. The whole point of OCD therapy is to accept uncertainty, but man I’m really struggling with this too. I was supposed to buy the ring to propose today, hopefully I will tomorrow. I get so worried that I will cheat or that I’m not attracted to her or that I am attracted to other people. And maybe I will, but I know I love my girlfriend and I value our relationship, it sounds like you do too. This is a really scary thing to have and it feels like an attack on your own character and an attack on something you hold dear. My advice is to look at it like this, you can give into compulsion and do reassurance seeking, avoidance, confession, what have you. And you will feel better in the short term, or you can fight. It will hurt, it will suck, you will long for the days where you were “back to normal” but eventually things will start to heal. There’s a lot of horrible thoughts that this theme has that we need to be able to accept as “these might be true” and man that is terrifying. But I believe that having the healthy relationship you want with your partner (and with yourself) is worth it. I’ve had a really hard time today with VERY similar thoughts, but I mainly was able to fight though I seriously almost threw up at some points. You can do this brother. Keep fighting.

anonymous0

Date posted: 4y

Thanks so much for the reply mate. I fully understand what you are going through also. I am supposed to buy my girlfriend her Christmas presents soon and because of these feelings my head is fucked

anonymous0

Date posted: 4y

Someone please help

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