- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey brother, I feel this sort of thing man. You are not alone. The whole point of OCD therapy is to accept uncertainty, but man I’m really struggling with this too. I was supposed to buy the ring to propose today, hopefully I will tomorrow. I get so worried that I will cheat or that I’m not attracted to her or that I am attracted to other people. And maybe I will, but I know I love my girlfriend and I value our relationship, it sounds like you do too. This is a really scary thing to have and it feels like an attack on your own character and an attack on something you hold dear. My advice is to look at it like this, you can give into compulsion and do reassurance seeking, avoidance, confession, what have you. And you will feel better in the short term, or you can fight. It will hurt, it will suck, you will long for the days where you were “back to normal” but eventually things will start to heal. There’s a lot of horrible thoughts that this theme has that we need to be able to accept as “these might be true” and man that is terrifying. But I believe that having the healthy relationship you want with your partner (and with yourself) is worth it. I’ve had a really hard time today with VERY similar thoughts, but I mainly was able to fight though I seriously almost threw up at some points. You can do this brother. Keep fighting.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks so much for the reply mate. I fully understand what you are going through also. I am supposed to buy my girlfriend her Christmas presents soon and because of these feelings my head is fucked
- Date posted
- 3y
Someone please help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
He kissed a girl while we were unofficial but a day after he said I love you . I felt we were exclusive based off of things. He acted out of unofficial vs official. Thought because we were single it was ok and if he knew it would have hurt me he wouldn’t have did it he said it was silly meaningless kiss and he wanted nothing with this person. I know he’s telling the truth because he would have lied to me about it but he didn’t . Unfortunately I found out 7 months into the relationship plus he has “no type” and is attracted to women I never ever thought he would be and I think it’s really disgusting . Even in my last relationship I felt this way. So before enter ing this one I told myself no cheating or ones that like these women and here I am …. He didn’t “cheat” but it feels like it. I have been spinning and crying and anxious for over a year now. After I found out I would rotate between that , the women and a transparency thing for a whole year every single day. Asking friends for advice , talking to him , crying , texting all day, even googling . Now I started chat gpt for advice. Whenever I hear it’s ocd I feel relieved but don’t believe it and when I hear it’s wrong relationship I cry uncontrollably and don’t want to believe that either I left him 2 months ago but I’m still in the same position because I love him so much I know he’s a great guy , he tried so hard to make me feel comfortable and he loved me so much but I couldn’t stop spinning . I want to get ba k with him but just picture anxiety forever and questioning am I in love , am I settling , am I forcing this , is this ocd or wrong relationship , could I be happier elsewhere , I can’t see him without feeling anxiety or seeing the kiss but then i can’t picture myself ever loving someone again like him . Our love and connection was so strong . I feel in another relationship as soon as something happens I’m going to want to leave and truly regret leaving my ex . What do I do. I’m starting erp but it’s so confusing to me and I feel like it won’t help and I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I hate waking up everyday because I’m so sad and miserable. Please help me (edited)
- Date posted
- 18w
Despite the fact that I have never once acted flirtatiously with someone else over the course of my 3-year relationship, never talked to anyone inappropriately, never touched or interacted with anyone inappropriately, I have been battling constant ROCD obsessions centered around cheating ever since my partner and I got together. I am constantly worried about whether certain things are cheating: daydreaming about another person (already told my partner about this and he said it was okay and that he does it too), talking in a group chat with someone, sitting next to someone, speaking to them in person. I question my intentions. I worry that I cheated by wearing my hair a certain way in an attempt to look more attractive or by jokingly poking someone with a fake sword (despite doing it to other people too), looking through someone’s social media, etc. I have confessed so many ridiculous things to my partner and he’s always told me that none of them are cheating. I feel so guilty for being attracted to someone else, despite the fact that my partner said it was fine and normal. I have made a very very conscious effort to limit my interactions with this person. I never ever ever ever message them privately, I make an obsessive effort to NOT reply to their messages in a group server (constantly keeping track of the ratio of my replies to their messages compared to other people’s), to ignore them when I see them in person and hardly ever speak to them or initiate conversation with them. Yet I still feel like a disgusting dirty cheater who is hiding a big secret.
- Date posted
- 16w
I am so incredibly terrified of betraying my partner. I love him so much more than I can even describe. He is such an amazing and supportive and kind person, he truly deserves the world. I have been dealing with an ROCD obsession with another person for the past 6 months. This obsession has completely wrecked my mental and emotional health and has caused me to feel physically ill. I have taken every possible measure to ensure that I do NOT cheat on my partner. I’m constantly checking and ruminating on interactions, I make sure to ignore this person whenever they send messages in a group Discord server unless absolutely necessary, I am obsessive about keeping track of the ratio of the number of messages I send in response to them compared to the messages I send in response to other people / the amount of messages other people send in response to them. I am literally considering making a spreadsheet tracking each person in the server’s reply frequency to other people, in order to analyze if I reply to them at an excessive frequency. The few times that I have seen this person in real life (group events), I have made sure to not initiate any conversation with them, to ignore them and not speak unless spoken to, to ensure that I am NEVER alone with them (even when one time they asked me to help them do something really quickly at a party, I made up an excuse because I was worried that going to help them would be cheating). I make sure to sit with other people and not them, I make sure that I never ever ever engage in a conversation in the server where they are sharing “deep” things, and I make sure I NEVER message them privately outside the server. The ONE time they messaged me privately (in response to something that happened in the server), I just sent a gif back and nothing more as the thought of having a conversation in private DMs made me feel like I was cheating. I make sure to talk about my partner frequently in that server (he is actually also in the server). However, I still feel like I am cheating mentally. I have confessed to my partner so many times. I asked him if an interaction was cheating and he laughed and said no. I have confessed to fantasizing about this person and to looking through their social media. He said both were fine. I am constantly wrecked by guilt no matter what I do. If I am just taking part in a group conversation, I analyze every single message and wonder if I have “intentions to cheat” before/after sending it, even when any normal person would just see that message and laugh and wonder how that could possibly be cheating. I have just grown to feel like such a despicable horrible and deceptive cheater. I have confessed so many times, I have told my therapist, and both my partner and my therapist have told me that I have the right to just move on and stop feeling the moral obligation to confess. But I just don’t believe it. It’s so hard for me to believe. I feel horrible. I have a trip coming up with my partner and my family. This is a once in a lifetime trip, taking my partner to my parents’ homeland and visiting my grandma for quite possibly the last time. I am so so so scared that OCD will ruin this trip for me.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond