Guys today has been nearly impossible to resist compulsions. I have been having intense guilt about finding other women attractive and what that means about my otherwise happy, loving, and committed relationship. It makes me question everything. I’ve been researching endlessly today, I’ve been able to avoid bringing it up with my partner (she knows I have OCD but involving her in this content, hurts her and the only way she could help would be to provide reassurance that it’s normal and she doesn’t hate me for it) but gosh it doesn’t feel normal. I just need some hope or tips for resisting compulsive research and rumination.

It can be frustrating when you're able to label the compulsions but not resist them. Remember that OCD wasn't formed overnight and it won't go away overnight either. We have to start small with exposures and work our way up to the big ones. Creating a plan with your therapist to combat it can maybe help you have some self-compassion by recognizing it's a process! Whenever you feel that urgency and find yourself flip flopping between answers trying to "figure it out", I'd encourage you to take a second to stop and notice what you're feeling. Like you did here- labeling it as guilt! It's a lot easier to sit with once we've labeled it.