Please help. When I was 15 - 17 i was on a app where you could chat with other people with your camera on. I masterbaited with women on this app. I did this often. I have bad guilt and shame over this. Idk if some one was too young to do this with me or if I showed my private parts to someone who didn’t wan to see or got traumatized by it. I know that people screen record chats like this and posts it on adult sites and I fear that I might be on the internet some wear and that someone will find it. I can’t remember if I showed my face when I chatted like this or if I only showed my private parts. I have extreme anxiety over this. I cry every night, have nightmares and wake up shaking and sweating. I feel discussing and I feel like I don’t deserve anything. I feel like I live a lie too the people I love that don’t know what I’ve done. I think about this event every day and I’ve thought about it every day for like 8 months now. It’s constantly in my head 24/7. I feel like I’m going insane. I feel depressed. Like my life is over. I don’t know how to get to peace with this. (I feel like I don’t deserve my girlfriend. I did this chat thing before I got my girlfriend just so you know). I’m 19 now. I’ve always confessed to my mom about things that I’m not proud of my whole life but this event I feel like I can’t confess about because I feel so much shame about it. I’m so scared please help. I don’t value my self high anymore and I just do things to make others happy. I just want this event to be undone. Please help me.

Okay so I'm young. A bit young than u might Imagine. Me and my boyfriend where bored and I searched up gay porn js as a joke on google. It was completely blurred. And we where js talking about our truma, and personal stuff while literally just looking at the titles. And I saw a title. A title that has trumstixed me before (I saw the actual video before involving a minor. ) and I clicked on it, still heavily blurred to show my boyfriend the title. And i said baby this really effected me this video. And then I looked below it, same video, blurred. Different title. And I clicked on it to stupidly read the other title. And it FUCKING UNBLURRED. and I SCREAMED saying to my boyfriend if he saw it. And he said no he looked away. And he was so unfazed. And I asked chat gpt about it and it said what I done was NOT okay. Because I looked at child stuff on purpose? My heart has just SANK. self harm urges are back. INTENSE confession compulsions to my mum are back. What do I do. Please someone help.

18+ When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl (who was in our school) explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 19, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to later... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... my friend, (the one who sent our friend group explicit vids and pics of his ex) told me that there was a one month period between him and her when they were in a relationship where he was 18 and she was 17 )... they were together for 1-2 years... and they were explicit throughout their whole relationship ... including the one month period... so i was getting extremely anxious and triggered about him sending me potentially illegal stuff... I asked him several times over the course of three days after he casually admitted he had a 1 month age period with her, (he was 18 and she was 17 during that one month) if she was over 18 when he made those videos, and he kept giving me answers like "Yes" And "It was a month after she turned 18..." He even got frustrated on the second day of me asking and said "Dude, this is the 10th time you've asked me and yes she was." On the third day I asked him, he said "yeah" when i said his previous comments of "a month after she turned 18, right?" back to him, and he even added that "we started getting more explicitly active around this time." He also told me "Even if she was under the age of 18, you wouldn't be in trouble because you were sent it." Yesterday, I called him again and apologized for asking so much... to which he responded... "I was hoping you'd realize this has been excessive..." But then I asked him if she really was 18 in those videos or not... he got frustrated and said... "Dude, you cant keep apologizing over and over, before asking me again..." Still, I asked him to confirm it for me one last time, to which he replied... "She was 18 in those videos..." I keep getting anxious because I dont know if he's lying or not and its triggering me really bad, not to mention feeling guilty about the harm I had caused... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... People say you make mistakes when you were a teen... these were some of my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope people dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've all been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here...

18+ When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl (who was in our school) explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 19, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to later... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... my friend, (the one who sent our friend group explicit vids and pics of his ex) told me that there was a one month period between him and her when they were in a relationship where he was 18 and she was 17 )... they were together for 1-2 years... and they were explicit throughout their whole relationship ... including the one month period... so i was getting extremely anxious and triggered about him sending me potentially illegal stuff... i think i misheard him say she was 17... but i cant remember if he said this or not... I asked him several times over the course of three days after he casually admitted he had a 1 month age period with her, (he was 18 and she was 17 during that one month) if she was over 18 when he made those videos, and he kept giving me answers like "Yes" And "It was a month after she turned 18..." He even got frustrated on the second day of me asking and said "Dude, this is the 10th time you've asked me and yes she was." On the third day I asked him, he said "yeah" when i said his previous comments of "a month after she turned 18, right?" back to him, and he even added that "we started getting more explicitly active around this time." He also told me "Even if she was under the age of 18, you wouldn't be in trouble because you were sent it." Yesterday, I called him again and apologized for asking so much... to which he responded... "I was hoping you'd realize this has been excessive..." But then I asked him if she really was 18 in those videos or not... he got frustrated and said... "Dude, you cant keep apologizing over and over, before asking me again..." Still, I asked him to confirm it for me one last time, to which he replied... "She was 18 in those videos..." I keep getting anxious because I dont know if he's lying or not and its triggering me really bad, not to mention feeling guilty about the harm I had caused... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... People say you make mistakes when you were a teen... these were some of my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope people dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've all been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here... (edited)