So my boyfriend and I had a rocky past. For the last 2 1/2 years we were on & off but never fulllly serious. So he always talked to girls and flirted and did all that. As did I when I was single single. During those times I found out cuz I would look through his phone. We eventually ended it for good and then a few months later he started to get his act right and we started to date officially and have been very committed for a year. I mean everything, meeting family, trips, he’s shown a lot that he’s changed in those aspects. My only boundary I asked from him was that when it came to social media, I didn’t want him liking pics of girls half naked or going on a follow spree of girls. I never cared about celebrities and I only refer this to girls i don’t like who don’t respect me/our relationship or friends of his that post bikini pics. That’s all lol. Social media was a huge thing for us because I would find everything out and so he told me he feels trapped like he can’t like anything and I know his every move. He’s afraid of leaving his phone with me cuz he feels I’ll look at his texts with his friends and everything and get mad at even a comment he makes. I had major trust issues going into this because of the past and eventually hit a point where I do trust him, but sometimes I have fears and insecurities and get that urge to look at his ig or his phone. He gets really upset if I violate his privacy and I get that, which is why I haven’t done in a long time but sometimes I’m like ok I have to just see. And I saw that he snapped a girl I hated, he just asked what bar it was and to him anything he says to other ppl is innocent and I get that and believe it but he doesn’t understand how those specific women work and why i feel it’s disrespectful. I mean he never asked me to but I deleted almost everyone I’ve even kissed. I don’t remember in the moment but I thought I saw a girl he snapped who has a premium Snapchat or something because in the messages she sent her PayPal from 2 years ago but she was in his recents snaps. I didn’t ask about that because we already had a huge conversation and now I’m really bothered by it but I’m usually wrong when I ask him anything so I’m afraid to bring it up. I am really bothered by that but I also know that he wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship. He shows me off all the time and he’s always showing how committed he is to me and I do believe that but still this weirdly makes me feel like when he’s alone he just looks at girls and does small things that aren’t break up worthy but enough to make him feel “free”. I mean dude I give him so much freedom so it fucking sucks that me having moments of insecurity and ONE boundary bounces back to me being an intrusive stalker girlfriend. I hadn’t went through his phone since February and I don’t ever want to do it like that again. I had a moment of weakness and I did see something I didn’t like, asked him and we did kind of just let it go but it turned into him telling me he feels like he can’t do nothing without me finding out even if it’s something as innocent as a like or a text to his friend saying a girl is cute or something. Like dude ur fucking human stfu I don’t care, I talk about guys with my friends. Just don’t act on it? And I know he wouldn’t so it’s like because of one thing he adds more shit to it and feels like I am trying to control him. And he WONT LISTEN TO ME and says I’m the problem cuz I have went through his phone. It sucks when we don’t see eye to eye on this. Everything else we can work through but this always becomes a huge thing cuz we don’t see eye to eye on it.

i made a first post about this, this is the second part. but i decided to stay with him and things took a toll today. lately, for weeks now, i can’t get the thought of him cheating on me out of my head. some things have happened to cause me to think like this but recently it’s gotten worse. we got into a huge huge argument today and we nearly broke up. we had set a rule on instagram about updating each other when we posted or changed our profile photo bc he had trust issues with that in the past so we set those rules for him. and I gladly did so. but then today i texted him, nearly 10 hours went by - no response - then i open up instagram and he posted something without letting me know. so I got upset told him if that’s how he wants to do things then he can. then he got upset because i always “assume” things without asking but there was nothing to ask because you’ve been on your phone but you can’t text ur gf back? he claimed he was asleep and he woke up to post, and he said he saw my text but he didn’t feel like talking to me and didn’t know what to respond to with. on top of that his posts r made for a female audience. and then he said “you’re tweaking when ive only been gone for 9 hours”, but yesterday he got disappointed when i didn’t respond within an hour. and I told him his double standards are insane. he got mad. told me I should just leave him since he’s not enough and I made him feel like a sh*tbag. I don’t know what to do. i want to be with him but everytime we fight we end up fighting against each other and not the problem. he told me i need to ask before i assume things, but when i ask he says “im tired, i don’t wanna do this right now, im not worried about that can we just chill”. I don’t feel emotionally safe to open up to him. and he takes everything as an attack. he told me I should be with someone I trust but he’s not understanding that I want to trust him and I want to be with him and the reason why I don’t trust him is because of things he’s done and not because of my past, he thinks im projecting my past onto our rls. we decided to see if we could go 2 weeks without arguing and if we can’t we need to breakup but how can I improve my trust with him and our rls in general?

We've been together for nearly 6 months now, but our start wasn't easy. We began as friends who both liked each other but also liked someone else more. I made the conscious decision to let go of that person, but it was not the same on his side. He didn't know that I liked him back, and had absolutely no inkling that he ever had a chance, so at one point he openly told me that he found her more attractive than me because he thought it wouldn't matter since I "didn't like him anyway." He doesn't even remember that conversation but profusely apologized for saying something so dehumanizing and thoughtless when I eventually brought it up. At one point I even told him to ask her out before we continued further (after I finally confessed) because I convinced myself he'd resent me if he didn't fully explore that option. He thought that was unusual and hated that I may think of myself as a second option (not remembering that he himself had basically already put me in that position), but did it because I was so insistent. These things only became relevant again when I told him to stop calling me "the prettiest girl in the world" a while ago. I don't have a lack of confidence in my looks whatsoever, it's more-so my personality that I worry about, but whenever he said that it would make me so angry because I already knew of someone he thought was prettier. Especially because that comment he said so mindlessly that he even forgot about it, replays in my head so often. He's started saying it again recently, now that we've said our I love you's and are publicly an item to everyone we know. I almost found myself really believing it because I know he loves me. It was fine up until she returned from vacation and now stays in the same building as him, while I'm still stuck at home until it's time to return for the semester. She's been gone the entire time that our bond deepened, but now I'm constantly bothering myself with thoughts of secret insincerity on his part. That now that she's back he'll be enamored by her all over again. That he only likes me so much because she wasn't in the picture. That he'll leave me for her the second he gets a chance even though I know she has no interest. I just feel the need to get this off my chest because I don't want to tell anyone around us and risk them disliking him over something he's deeply apologized for that I should rationally know he doesn't believe anymore. I don't really want to bring it up with him either, for fear of coming off as overly jealous or territorial now that she's back, but I have a tendency to torment myself with misinterpretation of his feelings unless I directly speak with him about it unfortunately. I'll end up brainstorming how to approach it eventually, but it feels so icky right now.

Sometimes my boyfriend tells me things that make absolutely no sense so I think he’s lying. Anyway. He used to be friends with this girl like 2 and a half years ago and they were only friends for like 2 months. He told me she played with his feelings but he never actually liked her and he just wanted friends because he was new to the school. I guess they had exchanged numbers and when he’d text she’d ghost him a little. They made plans to hangout after school one time but those fell through. Anyway, my boyfriend was interested in me half way through the school year, he really liked me, like a lot. He was a senior and I was a junior. He was really good to me and I never felt insecure. The girl was never relevant until maybe a year ago? She had created an insta account which she never used to have and she was in his insta suggestions. They had no mutuals or anything which made me suspicious. One of his close friends is friends with her. I started stalking her page a lot and comparing. She listens to the same exact music as my boyfriend and she’s literally flawless. I’d bring her up a few times over the course of a few months and he always told me that she was ugly and he just wanted a friend. He went to a party she was at and ik the mutual girl friend they have posts her sometimes. Anyway, I looked at her story today because I started overthinking again and she had posted pictures of herself to the song beetles by apex twin. I also brought her up to my boyfriend again because I was overthinking. She goes by Gracie and everyone calls her that but her real name is grace. My boyfriend will switch between the two when talking about her. He says grace is just a typo though. A few hours later my boyfriend had listened to that same exact song, it was on his airbuds. It was the only song by aphex twin on his airbuds too. I want to throw up because there’s no way he didn’t view her story, that’s was too coincidental. Update: he said he saw the sound in an edit but there’s only like 80 posts under that sound on TikTok and I didn’t see an edit. He can’t find the edit in his watch history either. He originally said he saw it on TikTok but I said there’s no edits of it on TikTok and it’s not in his watch history so now he’s saying it might’ve been on YouTube or instagram. He said he doesn’t know her insta account either but now we’re arguing. He wants me to leave because I never believe him. I confront him about something new everyday even though I really don’t mean to be a burden.