So I’m very confused. I am really calm and my thoughts are really calm and kinda not foggy but faint. I know I love him but at the same time it feels like I’ve admitted to myself I don’t. Can this still be ocd I’m very lost

What you are describing sounds like it could be something we call the "backdoor spike". This is when you start to experience less anxiety in response to your unwanted thoughts so then you feel confused about why you don't have anxiety! You might wonder whether it's OCD that you're feeling or not. Sometimes OCD grabs onto that and makes you feel you need to figure out right away whether it's OCD or not. Notice if this is something you're feeling. Does it feel urgent? Or is it something you could wait a little while to figure out? If it feels urgent there's a good chance it's OCD.

Well I think it feels urgent. Like I’m definitely in my thoughts trying to figure it out. But I also doubt that I feel urgency even though I think I do