allyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
Is anyone else scared that the reason they feel so slow is because they’re in the closet now?
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd It just feels so real, and I’m just depressed of having these feelings. And I’m scared they’ve always been there and I just didn’t realise. I don’t know who or what I am anymore.
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD I feel completely the same. Just want it to end
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd Everytime I read an article about HOCD or coming out. It just makes me more confused. I feel like my whole life has been a huge lie and I was just making myself feel things that weren’t there
absmcgeeabsmcgee
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! I’m not totally convinced that I’ve never found the opposite sex attractive and I’ve never enjoyed sex. Even though I’m pretty sure I have. I had always had bedroom troubles so sex just was never a big deal to me but now it seems like this huge deal. All the times I had enjoyed it was when I was completely in the moment. But I had found being in the moment hard because of previous trauma due to a medical condition. So that was always my reason now this has become my new reason. I can’t tell whether it’s just an excuse to fix an issue or whether I genuinely am gay. I’m now thinking that all the sexual material I watched I was focused on the guy and not the girl even tho I didn’t think I was at the time or even if I was it didn’t mean anything. I still had never ever contemplated wanting to get with a man. It’s just so confusing idk anymore. I just feel like I’m in denial and clutuching at Straws and really I must be gay
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I just feel so helpless. I feel like I’m geuinely gay now and it really sucks bc I don’t want to be. I want to be me again.
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
yessss!! do you feel anxious though? i barely ever do and barely do compulsions anymore :(
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Same here !!
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd really??? to this extent?
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Yes. I don’t really get the anxiety anymore, well atleast I don’t feel it and my compulsions are low. Kinda just feels like I’m gay now. It’s tiring
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd yes yes yes!!! sorry but i am relieved someone else is going through this! if you ever need anything i am here <3
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Thank you!! Same to you.
Brian K.Brian K.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi allyocd, OCD is called the doubting disease for a reason, and doubting whether you have or have ever had it is one of its favorite tricks to play on you. If I may ask, what is the source behind your concern over your sexuality? If your concern is because of intrusive thoughts or dreams that you have had, remember that you are not your thoughts or dreams. I think most people have had questions about their sexuality at one point or another for varying reasons. I certainly have, as well as many of my friends and family members. As much of a cop-out as it may sound when you have the intrusive thought question your sexuality or who you are, just tell it “so what?” And try to go about your day not giving it the attention or rumination that it craves. So what if it’s true or not true, so what if your preference has or has not, changed, so what if you are or are not attractive to the same or opposite sex, you are still you at the end of the day, nothing will change that, not even your OCD.
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
I need this to end.
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
mattis!
- Date posted
- 10w
Feels so real
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
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