- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Is anyone else scared that the reason they feel so slow is because they’re in the closet now?
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- 3y
Yes
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- 3y
@allyocd It just feels so real, and I’m just depressed of having these feelings. And I’m scared they’ve always been there and I just didn’t realise. I don’t know who or what I am anymore.
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- 3y
@BradOCD I feel completely the same. Just want it to end
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- 3y
@allyocd Everytime I read an article about HOCD or coming out. It just makes me more confused. I feel like my whole life has been a huge lie and I was just making myself feel things that weren’t there
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- 3y
Yes
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- 3y
Yes! I’m not totally convinced that I’ve never found the opposite sex attractive and I’ve never enjoyed sex. Even though I’m pretty sure I have. I had always had bedroom troubles so sex just was never a big deal to me but now it seems like this huge deal. All the times I had enjoyed it was when I was completely in the moment. But I had found being in the moment hard because of previous trauma due to a medical condition. So that was always my reason now this has become my new reason. I can’t tell whether it’s just an excuse to fix an issue or whether I genuinely am gay. I’m now thinking that all the sexual material I watched I was focused on the guy and not the girl even tho I didn’t think I was at the time or even if I was it didn’t mean anything. I still had never ever contemplated wanting to get with a man. It’s just so confusing idk anymore. I just feel like I’m in denial and clutuching at Straws and really I must be gay
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I just feel so helpless. I feel like I’m geuinely gay now and it really sucks bc I don’t want to be. I want to be me again.
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- 3y
yessss!! do you feel anxious though? i barely ever do and barely do compulsions anymore :(
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- 3y
Same here !!
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- 3y
@allyocd really??? to this extent?
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- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Yes. I don’t really get the anxiety anymore, well atleast I don’t feel it and my compulsions are low. Kinda just feels like I’m gay now. It’s tiring
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- 3y
@allyocd yes yes yes!!! sorry but i am relieved someone else is going through this! if you ever need anything i am here <3
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- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Thank you!! Same to you.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi allyocd, OCD is called the doubting disease for a reason, and doubting whether you have or have ever had it is one of its favorite tricks to play on you. If I may ask, what is the source behind your concern over your sexuality? If your concern is because of intrusive thoughts or dreams that you have had, remember that you are not your thoughts or dreams. I think most people have had questions about their sexuality at one point or another for varying reasons. I certainly have, as well as many of my friends and family members. As much of a cop-out as it may sound when you have the intrusive thought question your sexuality or who you are, just tell it “so what?” And try to go about your day not giving it the attention or rumination that it craves. So what if it’s true or not true, so what if your preference has or has not, changed, so what if you are or are not attractive to the same or opposite sex, you are still you at the end of the day, nothing will change that, not even your OCD.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 17w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 11w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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