allyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
Is anyone else scared that the reason they feel so slow is because they’re in the closet now?
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd It just feels so real, and I’m just depressed of having these feelings. And I’m scared they’ve always been there and I just didn’t realise. I don’t know who or what I am anymore.
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD I feel completely the same. Just want it to end
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd Everytime I read an article about HOCD or coming out. It just makes me more confused. I feel like my whole life has been a huge lie and I was just making myself feel things that weren’t there
absmcgeeabsmcgee
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes
BradOCDBradOCD
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! I’m not totally convinced that I’ve never found the opposite sex attractive and I’ve never enjoyed sex. Even though I’m pretty sure I have. I had always had bedroom troubles so sex just was never a big deal to me but now it seems like this huge deal. All the times I had enjoyed it was when I was completely in the moment. But I had found being in the moment hard because of previous trauma due to a medical condition. So that was always my reason now this has become my new reason. I can’t tell whether it’s just an excuse to fix an issue or whether I genuinely am gay. I’m now thinking that all the sexual material I watched I was focused on the guy and not the girl even tho I didn’t think I was at the time or even if I was it didn’t mean anything. I still had never ever contemplated wanting to get with a man. It’s just so confusing idk anymore. I just feel like I’m in denial and clutuching at Straws and really I must be gay
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I just feel so helpless. I feel like I’m geuinely gay now and it really sucks bc I don’t want to be. I want to be me again.
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
yessss!! do you feel anxious though? i barely ever do and barely do compulsions anymore :(
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Same here !!
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd really??? to this extent?
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Yes. I don’t really get the anxiety anymore, well atleast I don’t feel it and my compulsions are low. Kinda just feels like I’m gay now. It’s tiring
LilyrosalyndLilyrosalynd
- Date posted
- 3y
@allyocd yes yes yes!!! sorry but i am relieved someone else is going through this! if you ever need anything i am here <3
allyocdallyocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lilyrosalynd Thank you!! Same to you.
Brian K.Brian K.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi allyocd, OCD is called the doubting disease for a reason, and doubting whether you have or have ever had it is one of its favorite tricks to play on you. If I may ask, what is the source behind your concern over your sexuality? If your concern is because of intrusive thoughts or dreams that you have had, remember that you are not your thoughts or dreams. I think most people have had questions about their sexuality at one point or another for varying reasons. I certainly have, as well as many of my friends and family members. As much of a cop-out as it may sound when you have the intrusive thought question your sexuality or who you are, just tell it “so what?” And try to go about your day not giving it the attention or rumination that it craves. So what if it’s true or not true, so what if your preference has or has not, changed, so what if you are or are not attractive to the same or opposite sex, you are still you at the end of the day, nothing will change that, not even your OCD.
lucy_henshaw22lucy_henshaw22
- Date posted
- 6w
this is me rn after starting ERP. im hoping it goes away for us
Related posts
edimichael
- Date posted
- 24w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
Ampyyy
- Date posted
- 20w
Hocd
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 18w
How do y’all deal with this?
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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