When my ocd is bad and I over ruminate on my theme it’s hard to distinguish my thoughts from reality. This is really terrifying :( it all feels like it could be true

It feels like I used to get so many intrusive thoughts in the beginning but now it’s less it’s only thoughts like what if I’m a p what if I’m a p what if I’m lying to myself what if I’m in dentist truly in all this and it was all fake like I’m an imposter, now it’s just feelings and noticing :/ and I hate he feelings that come with it I’m really scared I am one I feel so alone :( I’m taking therapy but my therapist is not specialized in ocd and I don’t think she understands and I don’t want to bring it up bc I brought up a fear that what if I turn into my stepdad and she said “are you attracted to children?” And I said no but it was just an irrational thought that came after I started realizing the trauma that happened to me as a kid, and idk I’m scared to Start with a therapists here bc what if all this just makes it worse and it turns out I am what I fear all along.? :(

My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.

I had a horrible thought and it was my own thought. I feel awful. Also my heart is racing all the time