POCD/HOCD sufferers, Do you experience false attraction, arousal, and/or physical sensations as a result of the OCD? Does it happen in public?

I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!

I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.

Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.