- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
If I'm being completely honest... It's the only thing that takes my anxiety away. I don't enjoy it. I hate myself for feeling like I'm stuck with only men for the rest of my life. I truly wish it seemed like a fun experience. I wrote my girlfriend a long winded text message telling her I'm gay then cut it and pasted it to my notepad. I feel like this isn't HOCD and I'm just using HOCD as a cover for not wanting to come out and devote my life to the gay lifestyle. I wish I still found women attractive. The way I look at every man is how I feel heterosexual men look at women. This can't be OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
I relate to the part where you said feeling stuck with men for the rest of our lives. I dont know what ocd has done to my brain. Have you told your therapist about this? What do they say?
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to have all these thoughts! I miss having them. Because now I’m just fed up and tired i don’t even care anymore I’m just done. I don’t even know what’s depressing me anymore, is it because this isn’t me or is it because I’m suppressing myself. I keep finding times in my past that could be looked at as signs of being gay but in the moment they didn’t bother me or if they did they wouldn’t for very long. I was so happy, content and confident before all this and it’s just taken it all away.
- Date posted
- 3y
I get this all the time. It’s actually started to die down but my brain is still telling me I’m attracted to them. And it keeps giving me thoughts about male porn stars and trying to tell me that because I’ve watched them and noticed their attractiveness that I want to be with them. But I had never ever even contemplated being with a man before I always was attracted to, and fancied women. I still do but it just seems all messed up and foggy now. I can’t see myself marrying my partner anymore when that’s all I used to think about. It hurts that it’s been taken away From me
- Date posted
- 3y
Sh*t isn’t it my mate! Honestly, like I grew up literally knowing I was straight (evening typing that, feels like a lie). Now I genuinely feel it would be easier to be gay, I contemplated coming out so many times since this really started but it just doesn’t feel natural to me. Do you follow OCDRecoveryUK on Instagram?
- Date posted
- 3y
@ThePureOreo No would you recommend I do?
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD 100% mate. You from the UK?
- Date posted
- 3y
@ThePureOreo Yeah
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD Then get onto it mate and send them a message. They have a HOCD webinar coming up and I think that could really help us 👍🏽
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like coming out is the only way through this...and it sucks.
- Date posted
- 3y
Everyday it just seems like an easier option. Each day it fills me with less anxiety. I feel like In a few weeks or day I’ll just be okay with it and come out and it scares me. Is this the ocd winning or is it me changing?
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD Omg yeah I feel that. It's like it's inevitable and I don't know when, but it'll happen. And if it doesn't and I beat ocd, I'll always feel like I have secret or that I've been hiding my sexuality
- Date posted
- 3y
I heard on a Chrissie Hodges (probably butchered name) that EMDR is a great thing to incorporate once you get your OCD under control because this whole process could be traumatizing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
straight girl suffering from hocd, okay so when i was younger i looked at like a girl corn star insta for like 2 weeks and like did get aroused by it, didn’t think much of it still fancied boys, girls were like ew no to me, but its triggering my hocd so badly, like is it normal that i could look at a sexy pic of a girl n get aroused by it, but like a shirtless pic of a boy i wouldn’t, however i have insane attraction to men irl, i love my boyfriend, i love the idea of being with a man and hate the idea of being with a woman, this really freaking me out!
- Date posted
- 19w
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
- Date posted
- 15w
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
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