- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Like I said, I want to break up with my girlfriend almost every day to spare her the pain of what I currently believe is the inevitable BUT we can't be certain, right? Just have to keep showing up and doing the work. One day when we can get a better grasp of our thoughts vs. OCD thoughts we may be able to make a better informed decision. I truly don't know
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for responding, I appreciate it, it’s reassuring to hear I’m not alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@milliemoo I pose this question because I ask myself it often...and I apologize if it's triggering. But what if your partner was open to you being able to explore that side of yourself?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sparker1289 I don’t know if he would be, it’d probably feel like a relief at first but then I’m so scared I’d realise I want that after all
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sparker1289 Did your girlfriend let you?
- Date posted
- 3y
@milliemoo Lol! Definitely not. I cheated on her because I thought we were on a break and she said "you need to explore" but I misconstrued that...I blame nobody but myself. I attempted to hook up with a transgender and the whole time I knew it was a mistake but I couldn't get myself out of it. It didn't work out, fortunately/unfortunately and immediately after I realized how much I loved my girlfriend but then I was overwhelmed with my need to confess to her. So I did and God bless this woman for putting up with me 5 months later. We are obviously headed to couples counseling soon. And it didn't get rid of the thoughts/ feelings just gave me more guilt/shame.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sparker1289 I’m sorry you went through that I have been with women before which makes this more confusing for me because I think I wanted to and I think I liked it at the time but then felt uncomfortable afterwards This has been a fear since I was 17 so I’ve always had problems anyway when it comes to the bedroom (sorry for tmi) so it just feeds the fear
- Date posted
- 3y
Although I feel the same way, I can't bring myself to do it. I will admit defeat to my OCD even if I believe I have OCD or not. Another one of my therapist left me with sound advice, "It is their choice whether to stay or leave, don't take that choice away from them." It has allowed me to continue on in hopes that I learn a bit more about myself in this relationship, as long as I don't act out on these thoughts/feelings and try my best to be a good person to her.
- Date posted
- 3y
My therapist says this all the time... “you want to leave her to avoid some future pain that may or may not come true; it is and always will be their choice to stay, if they want to.”
- Date posted
- 3y
@mtaylor25 Thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
Please do not cheat or explore, if you know it is Ocd. That will only feed the ocd more. If you actually desire being with someone else then be with them but not bc of false things ocd tells you.
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t know what’s false or real. I don’t even know if it’s ocd any more. I don’t desire to be with anyone else at all. It’s just hard:/ Thank you for the reply, its just hard sometimes to tell the difference between what’s false or not
- Date posted
- 3y
@milliemoo I understand it’s hard but it’s not always like that. I know for a fact I never have had the desire to be with a woman , nothing about a woman is sexually attractive to me therefore I don’t act on ocd thoughts. This helps me know which thoughts are real and which are ocd. If anxiety and ocd is too high you surely shouldn’t make a choice meaning don’t leave your boyfriend either. If your ocd comes back down and you realize you still want him he might not want to take you back (rightfully so) and may not believe you later if you go back and forth you know. You got this, you’re strong, only you know what you desire, even with ocd you can be happy !
- Date posted
- 3y
@milliemoo I’m not a therapist this is just what I’ve learned ! So take my advice how you want
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justmesadly Thank you :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I need help. I feel like my entire world is crashing down around me. Everything is going to change. I’m going to miss him so much.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, I do not recommend. My actions are unjustified. Apologies if I made it seem otherwise
- Date posted
- 3y
Not at all, it’s easy to make mistakes with this, don’t worry
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m in such a dark place right now. No matter what I do with my boyfriend — kissing, hugging, cuddling, talking — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And every time, my brain says: “That’s it. It’s the truth. You don’t love him anymore.” I keep thinking I’m forcing myself to act like I still like him just because I can’t accept the truth — that maybe I fell out of love and don’t want to admit it. When he calls me beautiful, when he’s kind to me, when he holds me… I feel numb. And that numbness makes me feel like a stranger in my own life. Like I’m faking everything. Like I’m lying to him and to myself. It feels too real. I used to have moments — even during intrusive thoughts — where I would relax in his arms and feel safe and reminded that this is ROCD. But now… even those moments feel gone. Like the thoughts aren’t lies anymore — they feel like the truth. And I don’t know what to do with that. My therapist made things worse. She told me things that made me believe I’ve mentally “decided” I have to be with him, and that I’m wrong for thinking it’s bad to walk away. Now I feel like I’ve built my entire relationship on an idea that I should stay, not that I want to. I feel like I’ve changed. I remember moments of deep love, warmth, and closeness… but now I can’t feel them anymore. And all I hear in my head is “you’re different now. It’s over.” I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not even crying anymore — I’m just… empty. What if this is the truth I’ve been avoiding all along? What if I just can’t accept that I stopped loving him? What if this relationship is no longer right, and I’m just pretending? This is the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt this far gone before.
- Date posted
- 22w
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
- Date posted
- 19w
I broke up with my boyfriend today because of how bad my anxiety had gotten I couldn’t tell what was my heart and what was my head. I’m heartbroken because I feel like I lost my best friend and I truly do have love for him and want him in my future. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We broke up because I’m not on medication for my anxiety and have a doctor’s appointment coming up on Wednesday to see about getting some. I still feel anxious after our breaks but I feel guilty to admit that I do feel better. I’m still just anxious in general a little and I don’t know why. We had decided to stay in touch but not on a daily or even weekly basis, just because there is no hate in our relationship just pure love. I’m just so scared and sad that I really will lose him and be all alone.
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