I feel like I will never feel like myself again. I am flooded with feelings of sadness/depression, shame, anger. I can literally see the ocd standing in my brain, enjoying this moment, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around this and pull it out. I am so afraid my thoughts have been true this whole time and I’ve been making up my feelings of anxiety and terror regarding them. Then again, I feel like my thoughts are true - and I don’t know where the thought ends and where I begin? How can I know? I am so desperate to being back myself.

It helps to think of it simply as a brain malfunction. It also helps to observe the thoughts with non judgement. Easier said than done, I know, I struggle with the same thing. Lastly, if you do judge your thoughts as "bad" or "good" just remember that the thoughts you hate to have are not truly yours to bear, they are alien from the true you and should be viewed as such. Again, easier said than done. But it helps to reframe it. Hope that helps

I hear ya. Some days I feel great and others it feels like the whole world will collapse.

You took the words right out of my mouth! Just that feeling of being trapped! For me it's like I feel like I can't talk about it because then I'll make my problems sound worse then they are. OCD sucks!